Something a tad lighter on this Friday afternoon…
It was reported in Variety magazine this week that Matt Damon has signed on the dotted line to play Francois Pienaar in the movie portraying the first of our World Cup wins.
Howard Khan and John Dobson of iafrica give us their full cast list for the movie.
Our ’95 World Cup story
Thursday’s Variety magazine article about Matt Damon playing Francois Pienaar in a movie based on the 1995 World Cup went down a treat at iafrica.com. In fact, it so inspired us, that we decided to pick our own cast of actors that should star in this Clint Eastwood-directed movie.With Damon already having tied down the lead role of ‘Cappie’ — and who better to play Madiba than Morgan Freeman? — it left us with 14 very tough choices to make…
15 André Joubert: The Rolls Royce of fullbacks, and who better to play him than one of the steamiest actors of all time, Roger Moore? They both have that refined look and good ol’ Jouba always seemed to have a James Bond-like trick up his sleeve whether it was spending time in a decompression chamber or playing a World Cup Final in a specially-created protective glove.
14 James Small: Who else could play the original wildman of South African rugby than Hollywood’s wildest, Irishman Colin Farrell? The beauty, here, of course, is that Farrell wouldn’t have to act much to be like Small and being Irish means he ought to know a thing or two about the game…
13 Japie Mulder: Vernon Koekemoer is making quite a name for himself on local TV — even starring in an advert with Chuck Norris, nogal! And those thunder thighs can’t be ignored — he could bring Japie Mulder to life, especially with The Chuck’s advice on how to take down that Lomu.
12 Hennie le Roux: As a former soapie actor, Arnold Geerdts has plenty of experience at the top level of acting. An added bonus is that he spends plenty of time in the SuperSport studios with the man he will be portraying, giving him unrivalled insight into the mind of a World Cup winner. Priceless!
11 Chester Williams: We had a few options here — Oprah, sadly, was unavailable — so we settled on Denzel Washington after his moving portrayol of boxer Rubin Carter in ‘The Hurricane’.
10 Joel Stransky: The beauty of casting Gavin Hood is two-fold; he is a former actor, having played the lead role in South African rugby drama, ‘The Game’, in the late 1980s, whilst he is an Oscar winner, winning the little statue in 2006 for the world-acclaimed ‘Tsotsi’.
9 Joost van der Westhuizen: One of the greatest Springboks of all time must be played by David Hasselhoff, a true legend across the world. The ‘Hoff’ also offers an extra singing option — imagine him belting out ‘World In Union’ mid-dialogue? After all, as he keeps on reminding everyone, he sang at the world’s other great democratic moment in Berlin.
8 Mark Andrews: This was a tricky one, too… Homer J Simpson made the initial selection list, but, frankly he’s simply not athletic enough. In the end, we settled on football hardman and ever-improving actor Vinny Jones. If you don’t like it, argue with Vinny, he’s been signed and we’re not about to turn him away.
7 Ruben Kruger: Larry Hagman in his pomp (think ‘Dallas’ in the ’80s) and Ruben Kruger in his prime could well have been brothers. Look at those jawlines…
6 Francois Pienaar (captain): It’s a done deal, according to Thursday’s report in Variety magazine. Forget Jason Bourne, Matt Damon and say hello Francois Pienaar.
5 Hannes Strydom: Together with Mark Andrews and Kobus Wiese, the friendly pharmacist Strydom proved that white men can, in fact, jump. Yip, you guessed it, Woody Harrelson is the obvious man to fill this role.
4 Kobus Wiese: He might not be as tall as Kobus, but the resemblance is uncanny between ‘Koos’ and Bart Simpson. Take away the yellowness and squeeky voice and match up the hair — can you see it?
3 Balie Swart: If you need somebody with talent to anchor your scrum, look no further than South African acting veteran, Sharleen Surtie-Richards. An all-rounder in terms of her acting, she would have no problem moving to the other side of the scrum either.
2 Chris Rossouw: If James Dalton had made it into the final, then Verne Troyer (aka Mini Me) would finally have been able to move on from ‘Austin Powers’. That disappointment aside, we quickly found our man — none other than William Shatner, formerly TJ Hooker (geddit?), and presently Denny Crane.
1 Os du Randt: Not many people seem to watch the TV series ‘Lost’ but with a serious haircut (although Os did have some hair in 1995) and a good shave, Jorge Garcia (aka Hurley) would make an excellent Os du Randt.
Coach – Kitch Christie: Clint Eastwood (director)
Louis Luyt: Jabba the Hut
Referee of the Tournament – Derek Bevan: Rowan Atkinson