In an unprecedented move and one that has shocked loyal followers of the site, keeo.co.za has published an article that is completely free of any race baiting tactics.
“The article in question has everything to do with rugby and nothing to do with race…regrettably,” the writer, who insists on being anonymous, was quoted. So what is this offensive piece about? What is the dastardly deed?
“It’s a story about the upcoming Currie Cup final, where the relative strengths of the players were explored with no reference to their race or ethnicity at all. In that light, I sincerely apologise to my faithful readers.”
Speaking from his luxury yacht currently residing in Antigua Bay, site founder and trillionaire Mike Keeohane was discernibly angry: “ I thought I had trained my winged monkeys well, but it seems as if they are slipping up in my absence.”
Chomping down on a cigar, Keeohane continued: “Everyone knows that racially tinged articles lead to more comments which ipso-facto lead to more page impressions, vis-à-vis, more advertising spend for our site. I mean, these cigars don’t pay for themselves”
Asked if perhaps the racially motivated articles were worsening instead of healing divisions created by the past, Keeohane gave a Sarah Palin-esque reply: ‘No I don’t think so, if anything it gets our audience off the streets where they would be picking their noses in public, playing Kurt Darren CD’s and insulting petrol station attendants. This way they’re safely behind their computers where they can do no harm – except in cyberspace maybe”
So is this a sign of things to come for the site? “No, it’s a once-off and the writer has been given his two weeks’,” says site administrator Eugene Popuptroplolis. “This bog, er sorry: blog, will continue serve the interests of the rugby public. And there’s nothing the South African rugby public like more than a little racial spice in their daily cornflakes.”
Despite the minor setback, Mike Keeohane is predicting big things for the site, “My new Percy Montgomery book will be out soon. ‘Monty 2’ examines his early life in Walvis Bay and SACS senior primary. I’ve also got a book planned for the imminent axing of Pieter De Villers, in which I accuse him of reverse racism, it’s called ‘The Boot Is On The Other Foot.”
Halfway through this interview, the Luke Watson story breaks, and so Mike Keeohane has to excuse himself and get on the satellite phone. “How does ‘Dutchmangate’ sound?” yells Keeohane, wanting my opinion. When I reply that simply adding ‘Gate’ to imply controversy is perhaps a little tired, Keeohane replies promptly: “Then start your own blog, my boy – this is my precioussssssssss”Tweet