Sunday 25th of January and I woke up moers heppy because I was wys i was going to my Nuweland later that day.
My bru, Jean de Villiers and the manne was gonna make the ding ruk and there was no way in the world I was gonna miss out on that.
3 o clock did stiek uit and i decided Hos Ja its time to line, im not still gonna sukkel for parking because there isn’t going to be much people there, I became wys how wrong I was when I tried to pull out my driveway but couldn’t because traffic to get to Newlands was backed up to Simonstown.
Anyrate, after stealing my brothers skateboard and catching a tow from a scooter I finally got to the stadium and caught a wiff of something I hadn’t smelled in a long time….RUKBY!!
So anyway I took a march past the 1000s of losers who still had to mission in a cue for their tickets, collected mine at the WP Rugby offices and made my way to the media suite only to find Morne passed out on his laptop surrounded by Castle Light tins.At that point I knew was in for a great day.
I woke him up in time the end of the curtain raiser in which the WP VC team made SWD Eagles bite the pillow a little.
The stadium was starting to fill up rather nicely and I kept wondering when the blaas the mense is gonna stop coming in, but the mnese just kept rolling in.Onse kaapse mense likes mos onse Stormers and by 4 o’clock there was about 26000 mense inside,I soema felt a quiver in my liver because of the emotians flowing through me.Ok it could have been the sak pulling out from the night before but the emotion stukkie sound better…jy wiet mos.
Game time came and Saracens ran out onto the field first, actually because it was so bladdy hot they soema took a walk onto the field, they were soema moeg after their warm up.Shame.
The Stormers ran out and got a lekka welcome from the mense in the stands, so lekka in fact that even Lukas got a welcome.After a minutes silence Mark Lawrence blew his whistle and the ding was about to ruk in a big way.
Shortly after a few moves Chavanga remembered why he doesn’t play basketball and got completly dummied by a bouncing ball which Kameli Ratuvou caught and then went to go and score under the poles.”Ooooh yell” I thought.
After downing a beer I composed myself, made sure Morne was still awake and carried on following the game,some Sarries jong gooied a forward pass and then it was time for the first scrum of the game.The ref wysed them to engage and the Stormers scrum must have heard DISengage because it looked like they just thought ” minute for this goed” and went to lay down, Luke got the ball and half the mense didn’t see who it was because they cheered but the other half were sober and booed that brah like he is the person that always has the lsat slice of pizza and the last beer.
I last site of the actualy play for a few minutes because something vrek funny caught my eye,that thing was Justin Marshall, MY BRU that brah run vrek funny ekse, it look like something was tied around his waste because his feet was trapping moer fast and he was going nowhere.I focussed again just in time to see the Stormers attacking the Saracens line with a paar lekka moves only for the effort to be wasted by Andries Bekker who knocked the ball on 5m out , you would thing with hands that bladdy big he can catch a bladdy ball.
The Stormers decided to play scrum scrum this time and didn’t fall.Lekka.
After the ball moved around a bit it ended up by Percy who got alotta love from the mense in the stands(This was weird because when he played for the Sharks for the first time he got a k@@@@@@k reception)Anyway,the ball ended up by that new laaitie Vermuelen who carried the ball lekka.We got a scrum on Sarries 5m which again got a pak but we got the ball out,ran 2 phases and got the ball to Kalli Vuki who bashed and stretched his way over.Grant converted.
Play got going again and this is when Brad Barritt(name in matchday programme was BRAT Barritt) decided to show his trully skollie colours and with a blind gedagtes played Peter Grant in the air, the only ding was he forgot us Cape Town mense is lekka tai and that stupid jong knocked himself out and had to go off.Hy wil mos vuilspeel.
Bobo went over for a try and The Stormers went 17 10 up.
The players stopped for a drinks break and my eyes lit up at this time out, drinks break, brilliant!They can mos do that in every game, a quick dop in the middle of the game without missing any action kan mos werk sterk sien jy, and in that warmte you must mos stay hydrated, that Tim Oakes of iets soes daai did say so.
Play got on with not much happenning but then Cobus Visagie checked ” nooit” and went off, I dont shceme he had enough to drink.
Sarries decided to call a move I named Earl Rose and slat a running move behind there goal line, with nobody there Andy Farrell pulled a Bekker and dropped the ball.
Stormers run a wraparound but Peter Grant made a shambles of it , Sarries cleared their lines and the ball went to Luke Watson who got booed so hard that he actually fell over, im telling you it was that mal,no cheese.That brah caught the ball, started running, got booed and then fell on his gat.Jarre if this game had to be on the TV there woulda been a gamma vrag mense still talking about that now.
At this point it also became evident that Justin Marshall was having the worst rugby game ever.Newlands was sieker wysing him “ja jou hond, ek wag lank vir jou”.Everybody had his nommer, from Ricki to Brits to the water boy.Not even on a bad acid trip could he have seen himself play that bad.
Bekker caught a ball for the first time in the game and managed to get a pass to Brits who scored.Grant converted on the halftime buzzer.
At half time I started taking a walk around just to see what if i could pick up anything off of the mense floating around.I strolled past Francois Pienaar who seemed all smiles, not sure why though , maybe he broke wind.The folks strolling in the stands were happy but you could still see the concern in their eyes, understandable because the scrums were getting buggered and we were getting pinged at the breakdown while Sarries were doing nothing wrong in those areas.
From the screams coming from the stands I realised I had missed the start of the second half and that something was going on, turns out I missed 2 tries.
As i took my seat Chavangha knocked on a ball with the tryline at his mercy.
Percy went off and Joe Pieterson came on for him, I was happy with this because in a lot of peoples opinions Joe is a fullback and not a flyhalf.
Ricki chased down a lose ball and put Jean away cleanly, Jean got ankle tapped but managed to get the ball to Flouw who did well to hold off 2 defenders and get the pass away to Kalli Vuki who went over in the corner, the impressive thing about this try was the support running by the Stormers players, Jean could very easily have died with the ball and Flouw could easily have gone to ground but he fought to stay on his feet and keep the ball alive.
The spirit of Newlands was still having a jol breaking Justin Marshalls spirit because that oke just could not get anything done properly except get put on his gat.
Rassie rang the changes and Bolla, Koster and Fatefehi came on,one or 2 others could also have came on but there was a bit of confusion and with 11 players on the bench all trying to come on at the same time I kinda lost track.
Fatafehi got called into things immediately having to make a tackle, but, he decided to show off his sidestepping skills to the Railway stand and stepped aaside from the runner.That was also all he did for the rest of the game.Sarries got the ball close to the Stormers line, called a BLue Bull (that move with the one brah carrying the ball and 2 others pusshing him) and funny enough they got a try with Wikus van Heerden the try scorer.
The second half was not nearly as busy as the first with a bit more kicking going on, one funny moment was Andries Bekker scrambling back to call a mark, he actually put a pretty impressive torpedoe out into the stands to huge applause.
Another moment was Deon Fourie nailing Glen JAckson after Jackson forgot he was playing southern hemisphere rugby and took ages to clear his line.
What was impressive was the fact that the Stormers players chased every kick and loose ball alot of urgency and that resulted in about 2 tries at least.
The Koster experiment neither worked nor failed because the poor laaitie never got any ball, he did darem try to change wings and get some work.
Joe Pieterson was very very impressive at fullback, extremely busy and effective at everything.
At the media conference Eddie Jones was as entertaining as I thought he would be, taking the Stormers scrum apart but also giving credit in other areas.The one thing that bothere me was that he flew all the way to Cape Town to look like a bergie, naai my bru, he could’ve shaved, worn clothes that matched, im not evens sure he brushed his teeth, it was kind of hard taking anything he said seriously.
Jean and Rassie rocked up next looking the part.Fresh, dressed in team kit ready for the media.
Rassies take on the game was that it was by no means a perfect display but it was because of the quality of the opposition it gave a better inidicator of the areas to work on.
He wasn’t too concerned over the scrumming because he had a young loosehead playing at tighthead and it was JD Mollers first game since early last season.
He had heaps of praise for Joe Pieterson saying that he was definitely going to be part of the squad.
I left Newlands knowing two things, I could stand up to Morne in a brandy drinking contest if i had to and that the Stormers are in good hands.Rassie knows what to do and where to tweak, he spoke with a confidence of a man that knows exactly what he was doing.
So having left the stadium and no longer having to be an impartial observer I let out a loud HOI JAAAA STORMAAAAAAAAAZ and went home.Tweet