The Great Couch Shark

Stormers to fly the SA flag


Written by Nick Gordon (The Great Couch Shark)

Posted in :Original Content, Stormers, Super 14 on 20 Feb 2009 at 11:11
Tagged with : , ,

Gavin Retch reports for the Cape Grimes.

The atmosphere in the Mother City is electric. Super14′s best supported side, the Stormers, take on the Queensland Reds at the birthplace of South African rugby, Newlands Stadium, this Saturday.

The Stormers will be eager to prove a point this weekend after they lost out unfairly to the Sharks last Saturday. Had if not been for Jean De Villier’s untimely injury or the fact that referee Mark Lawrence has timeshare on the South Coast, the Stormers would have won comfortably.
In fact the Sharks have not faced a full-strength Cape team in the last three outings. And had they, there might very well be a different name inscribed on Sir Alfred Currie’s trophy for 2008.

Nevertheless, if the Stormers win this Saturday it will also be a moral victory for the real Men-in-Black, as it will finally demonstrate how powerful they can be when all their star players are fit and fighting.

Reflecting on the Stormers’ loss last weekend, team manager Tobie Uphisownass commented: “Well, you can’t always have everything your own way. I mean, we live in the most beautiful city in the world. I think we can sacrifice one result.”

Come this Saturday and the players could find the weather conditions challenging as a thick South-Easter Smug settles over the suburbs. Unlike Fog or Smog, the South-Easter Smug is caused by millions of Capetonians boasting about their city all at once. The smug tends to settle over Newlands impairing the players’ sight and vision. The Reds who hail from lowly Brisbane will no doubt find the smug extremely hard to deal with, which should play into the Stormers’ hands.

“Yeah we’ll obviously try and concentrate on our own game,” says Reds captain Derrick Barnes, “but it’ll be difficult with the picturesque Cape fold mountains in the background.”

What does he think about playing South Africa’s oldest and most successful rugby union?

“Yeah it’ll be a huge challenge for sure, mate. They’re a team with few weaknesses. I mean, just take a look at them. They’re good-looking blokes. Some of them could be models. Some of them are models. And they’ve got model girlfriends. And model cheerleaders. I mean is everyone here a model or something?

Please note: An after-party will be held at the Waterfront Yacht Club at 7pm. Cigars and berets are mandatory.



50 Comments

  • I will sit back and wait for the fan mail

  • Comment 1, posted at 20.02.09 11:16:02 by robdylan Reply
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  • LOL!

  • Comment 2, posted at 20.02.09 11:25:50 by walter van transvaal.co.za Reply

    walter van Lions WorldCurrie Cup player
     
  • lowly Brisbane. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

  • Comment 3, posted at 20.02.09 11:33:40 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • I take offence.

  • Comment 4, posted at 20.02.09 11:36:02 by provincejoulekkading Reply
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  • :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen:

  • Comment 5, posted at 20.02.09 11:37:26 by McLovin Reply

    McLovinAssistant coach
     
  • Why thank you, I am beautiful. My mommy told me so.

  • Comment 6, posted at 20.02.09 11:39:29 by molly Reply
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  • Very factual. :smile:

  • Comment 7, posted at 20.02.09 11:39:41 by McLovin Reply

    McLovinAssistant coach
     
  • this article coupled with my intro for the Stormers match may leave the Stormers feeling we are picking on them. :wink:

  • Comment 8, posted at 20.02.09 11:39:42 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • Alrighty then…

    I think I should send a copy of this to Rassie’s lawyer!!! :evil:

  • Comment 9, posted at 20.02.09 11:45:52 by wpw Reply
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  • I mean seriously, who wears a beret?

  • Comment 10, posted at 20.02.09 11:47:17 by provincejoulekkading Reply
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  • “Uphisownass” :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    “real Men-in-Black” :evil: yeah cos most of the quality players were either sharks or should be :cool: :mrgreen: :wink:

    ECELLENT !! :cool: :mrgreen: :lol:

  • Comment 11, posted at 20.02.09 11:49:00 by KSA Sharkette Reply

    KSA SharketteCurrie Cup player
     
  • @provincejoulekkading (Comment 10) : wait and see who turns up in one, tah’ll answer your question :mrgreen:

  • Comment 12, posted at 20.02.09 11:49:45 by KSA Sharkette Reply

    KSA SharketteCurrie Cup player
     
  • Uphisownass – That really bes describes ol Toby

  • Comment 13, posted at 20.02.09 11:51:17 by provincejoulekkading Reply
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    Clayton(PJLD)Team captain
     
  • @KSA Sharkette (Comment 11) :

    Well at least Stormers supporters know how to spell ‘EXCELLENT. :twisted:

    (runs away)

  • Comment 14, posted at 20.02.09 11:51:23 by wpw Reply
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  • @provincejoulekkading (Comment 13) :

    i believe everyone in the piece is fictional and any resembelance to real characters is purely coincidental. :roll:

  • Comment 15, posted at 20.02.09 11:56:07 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • Beale Drop Goal!!!!!!!!!!!

    Tahs 11 – 7 Chiefs

    58min

  • Comment 16, posted at 20.02.09 11:56:45 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • @KSA Shark © (Comment 16) : :oops:

  • Comment 17, posted at 20.02.09 11:57:04 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • @wpw (Comment 14) : :oops: :mrgreen: any miss-spelling can be excused by my amusement – you try eating, watching, posting & laughing :wink: :lol: and STILL spell everything correctly :lol: :roll:

  • Comment 18, posted at 20.02.09 11:59:37 by KSA Sharkette Reply

    KSA SharketteCurrie Cup player
     
  • @KSA Sharkette (Comment 18) : at least I post results on the correct thread :wink: :roll: :oops: :mrgreen:

  • Comment 19, posted at 20.02.09 12:01:53 by KSA Sharkette Reply

    KSA SharketteCurrie Cup player
     
  • Dan Nichol?

    Sometime ago Morne was wondering where they got their dancing girls – this article places them in a different category (to the one he mentioned) altogether.

  • Comment 20, posted at 20.02.09 12:06:17 by Salmonoid Reply
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  • @wpw (Comment 9) :
    Is he the same oke that gives the journalist such a hard time.

  • Comment 21, posted at 20.02.09 12:08:31 by Salmonoid Reply
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  • GAVIN RICH IS A TWAT :evil:

  • Comment 22, posted at 20.02.09 12:35:52 by Charlie Reply

    CharlieSuper Rugby player
     
  • @Salmonoid (Comment 20) :

    No. Cape Shark.

    it is posted under original content.

  • Comment 23, posted at 20.02.09 12:41:24 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • @KSA Shark © (Comment 23) :
    Good for Cape Shark then – there are worse things than being taken for Dan Nichols writing.

  • Comment 24, posted at 20.02.09 12:50:45 by Salmonoid Reply
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  • @Charlie (Comment 22) : Read it again

  • Comment 25, posted at 20.02.09 12:56:14 by Worcestershire Sauce Reply
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  • @Worcestershire Sauce (Comment 25) : :mrgreen:

  • Comment 26, posted at 20.02.09 12:57:16 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • @Worcestershire Sauce (Comment 25) : @KSA Shark © (Comment 26) : He stays a TWAT :lol:

  • Comment 27, posted at 20.02.09 13:13:00 by Charlie Reply

    CharlieSuper Rugby player
     
  • @Charlie (Comment 27) :

    Is it cos he doesn’t rate Adi’s defensive game??? :mrgreen:

  • Comment 28, posted at 20.02.09 13:17:42 by wpw Reply
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  • @wpw (Comment 28) : Moet jy oek nie nog vi jou soes ‘n TWAT gedra, BTW da is niks wrong met Jacobs se defence nie… :wink:

  • Comment 29, posted at 20.02.09 13:23:41 by Charlie Reply

    CharlieSuper Rugby player
     
  • @Charlie (Comment 29) :

    Ek wiet man!

    Ek hou oekie van Gavin Rich nie!!! :cool:

  • Comment 30, posted at 20.02.09 13:27:24 by wpw Reply
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  • @wpw (Comment 30) : Hi, jy is nogal slimmer as wat ek gedink het :lol:

  • Comment 31, posted at 20.02.09 13:40:20 by Charlie Reply

    CharlieSuper Rugby player
     
  • Ha naam is Koekie, koekie koekeloekie,
    Wil ‘ie ophou roekie, dra ‘n stywe broekie :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

  • Comment 32, posted at 20.02.09 13:43:28 by Charlie Reply

    CharlieSuper Rugby player
     
  • I almost spluttered my glass of water all over my desk when I read “The Super 14′s best supported side” :lol: …then I read further and saw the wind up and only then noticed “gavin Retch” and “Cape Grimes” etc :lol: :roll:

  • Comment 33, posted at 20.02.09 14:21:43 by Villie Reply
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  • @Villie (Comment 33) :

    Kette did the same thing. halfway through she was up in arms, a few seconds later she was rolling on the floor. :razz:

  • Comment 34, posted at 20.02.09 14:24:25 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©Head Coach
     
  • It’s all true! :twisted: :razz:

  • Comment 35, posted at 20.02.09 14:36:05 by McLovin Reply

    McLovinAssistant coach
     
  • @McLovin (Comment 35) : in who’s fantasy :roll: :mrgreen:

  • Comment 36, posted at 20.02.09 14:44:34 by KSA Sharkette Reply

    KSA SharketteCurrie Cup player
     
  • where is the rest of the heading? strmers to fly sa flag…at half mast.

  • Comment 37, posted at 20.02.09 14:50:57 by try time Reply

    Super Rugby player
     
  • @McLovin (Comment 35) : I was ready to start typing my rant and then thought I better read a bit more…. :lol:

    It’s weird..I used to work with Gavin Rich when he was a Durban based journalist and he was a massive Sharks supporter…amazing how quickly his loyalties switched when he got offered the job in Wee Pee country! :mad: :twisted:

  • Comment 38, posted at 20.02.09 15:25:47 by Villie Reply
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  • Is JdV playing?

  • Comment 39, posted at 20.02.09 20:05:04 by Hmmm Reply

    HmmmSuper Rugby player
     
  • I hope not…cozz that will at least explain this useless score…

  • Comment 40, posted at 20.02.09 20:06:26 by Hmmm Reply

    HmmmSuper Rugby player
     
  • Fancy gifting a non-RSA team TWO bonus points for a loss…

    And why/how/where?

    Simple really… for two seasons now…

    -You have a loose-forward, a lock and a hooker (Brits, Bekker, Watson) having around in the backs, refusing point blank to do the grunt work up the middle, and poaching ball intended for your speedsters on the wings…

    - You have the worlds most predictable 15, that cannot join the line on attack, refuses to pass on attack and gifts the opposition possession time after time with aimless up-n-unders… namely Goose-step Jantjes…

    Ah well… better go open another pap-sak…

  • Comment 41, posted at 21.02.09 02:28:39 by bryce_in_oz Reply

    bryce_in_ozCurrie Cup player
     
  • Gavin must be RETCHING this morning after he wrote this swill…

  • Comment 42, posted at 21.02.09 02:30:35 by bryce_in_oz Reply

    bryce_in_ozCurrie Cup player
     
  • airports- boring

  • Comment 43, posted at 21.02.09 03:00:37 by robdylan Reply
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  • @bryce_in_oz (Comment 42) : um. You know it was a joke, right?

  • Comment 44, posted at 21.02.09 03:01:43 by robdylan Reply
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  • @robdylan (Comment 44) :

    Indeed I do… :wink:

    Which airport?

  • Comment 45, posted at 21.02.09 03:30:41 by bryce_in_oz Reply

    bryce_in_ozCurrie Cup player
     
  • @bryce_in_oz (Comment 45) : this one is in Antalya, Turkey. 5 am flight to Istanbul, then an 8am one to Londres. Been here since 2-30. Still over an hour till I board

  • Comment 46, posted at 21.02.09 03:39:25 by robdylan Reply
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  • Jeez what are you doing there… work?

    Did you get any time to go for a bit of an explore?

  • Comment 47, posted at 21.02.09 03:43:50 by bryce_in_oz Reply

    bryce_in_ozCurrie Cup player
     
  • http://rugbydump.com/

    scroll down to the Ebersohn tumble… the sooner the Cheetahs get this guys involved the better… or we can buy him :wink:

  • Comment 48, posted at 21.02.09 03:50:59 by bryce_in_oz Reply

    bryce_in_ozCurrie Cup player
     
  • @bryce_in_oz (Comment 47) : na. It was a conference. Stayed at a 5 star resort and drank myself silly all week

  • Comment 49, posted at 21.02.09 04:23:25 by robdylan Reply
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  • @bryce_in_oz (Comment 41) : Yup..Bekker and Brits should EARN the right to hang in the backline by doing their primary jobs first. Unfortunately they are more interested in the fancy stuff than getting their hands dirty in the tight stuff!

  • Comment 50, posted at 21.02.09 16:24:48 by Villie Reply
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