And then there were 3 unbeaten teams!
Supremely hectic at the moment with fun things like government tenders so I have to make this week’s short and sweet – if I can stop myself from ranting too much! The weekly wrap, twitter style
Crusaders (35) vs Sharks (6)
My take on the game is a simple one. This Sharks team looks completely uncoached. They play just like the Barbarians except with one difference – the players don’t even look like they want to be there. I have narrowed the Plumtree case down to a few options: a) he has no idea what he is doing and I will continue to say that as long as John Smit plays number 3; b) he has no interest in being there and thought the Canes job was his in which case, HAHAHAHAHAHA; c) something is so dreadfully wrong within the authorities at Sharksville that none of the players are in the slightest bit interested in playing rugby and are currently at about 30% motivation. In fact, I think I have more motivation to walk onto the roof of our building right now and throw myself into the 5pm traffic. People say we must support the team through thick and thin but that performance on Friday was not up to scratch of even a Varsity Cup team. Uncoached, unmotivated and ill-disciplined. It’s dreadful to watch and the Lions at least have the excuse of a shortage of players. No one can make an excuse that a team with 10 Springboks against a team of unknowns from 11-15 can lose by 29 points. The management and coaching staff are to blame and if a muppet is running a JSE company, I will stop buying their shares so they must learn they will lose support! On a positive note for the Sharks, Ruan Pienaar wasn’t injured. I had to find something! Sharks are now 14th. Out of 14. Which is also known as “last”.
Oh, there was another team in this too. Yes the Crusaders look back to their winning ways.
Stormers (17) vs Brumbies (19)
I can’t say I have never seen this before: the talented Stormers team underperforming like a flaccid you-know-what. I cannot fathom how they lost a game they were completely in control for 70 minutes until an intercept try punished them for their inability to turn their control into points.
Hurricanes (33) vs Lions (18)
Canes too strong, Lions too weak. Not a big surprise except maybe the margin was slightly lighter than expected. Canes still unbeaten. Unlike the Sharks, at least the Lions look like they can score. Earl Rose played as badly as Earl Rose. Canes have injured most of their players and will struggle against the Cheetahs. Oh wait, no they won’t. Interestingly, Canes have a much better points difference to the Bulls after conceding 44 less points in 3 games. True though is that the Canes played the “speshal” Force/Lions teams.
Reds (18) vs Blues (27)
I have no idea how on earth the Blues have walked away with 2 wins. They just aren’t playing decent rugby and keep coming up against teams on their off days. Like the Reds who spent the past 6 days forgetting exactly how to play like they did against the Saders. Amazingly most articles still managed to make use of the most obvious pun ever, “I guess the Reds feel a bit Blue today”. Orginal guys, original. Blues are the easily the crappest team on the top half of the log.
Force (19) vs Chiefs (37)
I wrote last week that Lelia Masaga was back for the Chiefs which was good news. What good news it was. The guy is lethal and should become a regular AB this season. Powerful, quick, lethal to watch and a Testrugby.com scoring machine. (On that note, a dummies guide to play Testrugby.com: Pick Morne Steyn and Lelia Masaga and then any 10 players after that). Chiefs brushed off the Force as expected (marketers are hating their Perth franchise name now: “A Force to be reckoned with” FAIL). The bonus point looked so comfortable for the Chiefs who have now a 3-from-3 record and haven’t played a home game yet! In other “I-hate-Superbru” news, the intercept try that pushed the scoreboard almost towards the point of flattery for the Force, did wonders for my 25 margin pick. Chiefs-Bulls final looks like a foregone conclusion at this point but too early to tell I guess!
Cheetahs (24) vs Highlanders (31)
What a boring game of rugby! Naka Drostdyhof said his team looked jetlagged which is an understatement, they looked hungover. They even got the benefit of some “local” TMO decisions which gave them an undeserved bonus point. At least the players look slightly interested in playing though. Highlanders finally 1 1 (won one) and Hobbs looks like a good player. Not much else to say about this game. The Highlanders fly to Cape Town to play the Stormers who will need to inject Red Bull into their eye to catch a wake up if they want to win what should be a tough game.
Bulls (48) vs Waratahs (38)
Oh. My. Shattered. Nerves. DID YOU WATCH THIS GAME? If not I suggest you pop on over to the Randburg studios and trade your mother-in-law’s best knitting for a copy. This was the most epic rugby game, EVER. It reminded me of that amazing SA-NZ game in 2000 which the Boks also scored about 48 points (my memory isn’t that good). I have tried to find the stats for this Bulls game but can’t. If someone else feels the urge, please can someone compare the handling errors in this game vs all others. The ball was drenched in Super Glue! This was the Detroit Motor Show of rugby exhibitions. Morne Steyn is now officially competing with Fourie du Preez as the world’s best rugby player and I am hugely excited at the prospect of the Springboks having the best flyhalf since Henry “the blade” Honiball. Morne has now developed a great balance between playmaking, running, tactical kicking, defense and sniper-like place kicking. He is so close to the complete product now that I wish the World Cup was tomorrow. Bulls were 0-17 early on and like most great men going down, they managed to lift it up and finish strongly! This Bulls team has just got better and better and after winning the final 60-odd minutes of that game 48-21, it shows how awesome they are against what must be said, was a shit-hot Waratahs side on the day. I reckon, if the opposition hadn’t been as brilliant as the Waratahs were, this would have been an absolutely caning, like my border master gave me in Std 6 for having porn in my locker (I still wish I could catch the guy who left it there . But the Waratahs contributed to making it the Super 14 game of probably the last 5 years. I loved it. The Bulls style of rugby, far from what I would call “parasitic”, has become an amazing brand of rugby that is now very entertaining to watch.
So, my preds for the final placing on the log in May: