Johnny looks at them and says “Well, the way I’ve been playing
recently, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the
pub.”

So Johnny goes out to play South Africa by himself and the rest of the England team go off for a few jars.
After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the telly on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads
” England 7 – South Africa 0
Wilkinson – 10 minutes – Converted Try)”.
He is beating South Africa all by himself ! Anyway, the telly goes off and a few more pints later the game is forgotten until someone
remembers
” It must be full time now, let’s see how Johnny got on”. They put the telly back on.

“Result from the Stadium: England 7 (Wilkinson 10 minutes) – South Africa 7 (Paulse 79 minutes)”.
They can’t believe it, Johnny has single handedly got a draw against South Africa and maintained England’s unbeaten run at home!!
T hey rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in
the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.
He refuses to look at them. “I’ve let you down, I’ve let you down.”
says Johnny.
” Don’t be daft, you got a draw against South Africa, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end!” says the rest of the team.

“No, No, I have” says Wilkinson, “I’ve let you down… I got sent off
after 12 minutes

August 2003
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the first hole of a busy golf course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker.
“Would the gentleman on the women’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!”
I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was so deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement,

“Would the MAN on the WOMAN’S tee kindly back upto the men’s tee.
I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled
” Would the man on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee, PLEASE!”
I finally stopped, turned looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike, cupped my hands and shouted back…….
” Would the A*** hole in the clubhouse kindly shut the ?|:#$ up and let me play my second shot?”

July 2003
A guy walks into a pub with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a “Springbok” jersey and cap and is festooned with little “Springbok” flags.
The bartender says, “Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You’ll have to leave!” The guy begs him, “Look, I’m desperate. We’re both big fans, the TV at home is broken, and this is the only place around here where we can watch the game!”
After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there’s any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The big game begins with the “Bokke” receiving the kick-off.
They speed off down field and immediately score a penalty. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, gets onto his hind legs and begins walking up and down giving high-fives to everyone.
The bartender says, “Wow, that is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!
What does the dog do if they score a try?”
The owner replies, “I don’t know, I’ve only had him for a year.”

Rugby – after losses to Ireland and England

A seven year old South African boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama today when he challenged a Pretoria Supreme Court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge awarded custody to his sole aunt. The boy protested that his aunt beat him more than his parents and refused to live there. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents the boy claimed that they beat him more than anyone.
The judge dramatically allowed the boy to chose who should have custody of him.
Custody was today granted to the Springboks Rugby team, as the boy firmly believes they are not capable of beating anyone.

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

The brunette suggested, “There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it’s not going to be legal.”

“That doesn’t matter at all,” replied the blonde. “All that matters it that I am able to sell this car.”

“Alright,” replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn’t be a problem to sell your car.”

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette’s advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, “Did you sell your car?”

“No!” replied the blonde. “Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it.”

Have a good weekend, mense!!!

GO SHARKS!!!!!!!!!

NOOIIITTT!!!

Ja – give us proper rights, ek se!

NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Granpa, staring at the horison, and says: Last week I was sitting here without my shirt in the wind, and I got a stiff neck….this is your Granma’s K*k idea!”

Thanks for the explanation – Afrikaans isn’t my strong point. Sad to say but my French is now better than my Afrikaans ever was.