In the best tradition of praise singers everywhere, let’s wax lyrical about our mighty Sharks ahead of tomorrow’s Super Rugby Final!
Let us sing to the Sharks, oh you people of Durban
And of places more far-flung, both rural and urban
From the beaches and bistros, to the far hills of green
To the greatest Sharks team the black and white e’er has seen!
To the Beast and to Jannie, our concrete front row
And to Wors the young legend, whose fame will yet grow
A great victory sealed by three steadfast front rankers
Who will scrum, drive and tackle the crap out of those wankers!
To Bissie, our hero, our Hector in battle
Swats defenders aside just as though herding cattle
A hundred times over, our Colossus has fought
While Brave Burden plenty impact to the late game has brought!
To Joe Dirt and Big Vic, our locks of renown
Their strength and their courage in adversity they’ve shown
With tackles and carries and leaps to great height
And to Steven as well, when he brings on his might!
To Marcell and to Hoff, both the sharp of our blade
Both broadsword and rapier, who many metres have made
With ne’er-ending toil and with offloads galore
What more, then, will Wolla and Boots have in store?
To Charlie McLeod, with his passes so sweet
And to Freddie le Sorcier, with his dazzling hands and feet
Both running the show with such flair and composure
to the fans, your great play is as sweet as ambrosia!
To Paul the young turk and to JP the master
When last did we see a midfield that was faster?
And lest we forget on the bench, Big Meyer
Of these three, who will rise as the Sonny Bill slayer?
To our wings, plucky Louis and Lwazi the rocket
Put the ball o’er the tryline, like a plug in its socket!
With heart and commitment and the wind at your backs
Score the tries, make the tackles, stop the Chiefs in their tracks!
And what of young Patrick, jack of each backline trade?
Will he show that at fullback, a master he’s made?
With a calmness and bravery belying both age and size
And with Tjop backing up, see how far he will rise.
Let us finish this song with an ode to our skipper
Not the biggest in body, but my word, what a ripper!
So to Keegan Rhys Daniel – and to Reece, Bash and Plum –
Know that all will be with you, when the game’s lost or won!