Something a tad lighter on this Friday afternoon…
It was reported in Variety magazine this week that Matt Damon has signed on the dotted line to play Francois Pienaar in the movie portraying the first of our World Cup wins.
Howard Khan and John Dobson of iafrica give us their full cast list for the movie.
Our ’95 World Cup story
Thursday’s Variety magazine article about Matt Damon playing Francois Pienaar in a movie based on the 1995 World Cup went down a treat at iafrica.com. In fact, it so inspired us, that we decided to pick our own cast of actors that should star in this Clint Eastwood-directed movie.With Damon already having tied down the lead role of ‘Cappie’ — and who better to play Madiba than Morgan Freeman? — it left us with 14 very tough choices to make…
15 André Joubert: The Rolls Royce of fullbacks, and who better to play him than one of the steamiest actors of all time, Roger Moore? They both have that refined look and good ol’ Jouba always seemed to have a James Bond-like trick up his sleeve whether it was spending time in a decompression chamber or playing a World Cup Final in a specially-created protective glove.
14 James Small: Who else could play the original wildman of South African rugby than Hollywood’s wildest, Irishman Colin Farrell? The beauty, here, of course, is that Farrell wouldn’t have to act much to be like Small and being Irish means he ought to know a thing or two about the game…
13 Japie Mulder: Vernon Koekemoer is making quite a name for himself on local TV — even starring in an advert with Chuck Norris, nogal! And those thunder thighs can’t be ignored — he could bring Japie Mulder to life, especially with The Chuck’s advice on how to take down that Lomu.
12 Hennie le Roux: As a former soapie actor, Arnold Geerdts has plenty of experience at the top level of acting. An added bonus is that he spends plenty of time in the SuperSport studios with the man he will be portraying, giving him unrivalled insight into the mind of a World Cup winner. Priceless!
11 Chester Williams: We had a few options here — Oprah, sadly, was unavailable — so we settled on Denzel Washington after his moving portrayol of boxer Rubin Carter in ‘The Hurricane’.
10 Joel Stransky: The beauty of casting Gavin Hood is two-fold; he is a former actor, having played the lead role in South African rugby drama, ‘The Game’, in the late 1980s, whilst he is an Oscar winner, winning the little statue in 2006 for the world-acclaimed ‘Tsotsi’.
9 Joost van der Westhuizen: One of the greatest Springboks of all time must be played by David Hasselhoff, a true legend across the world. The ‘Hoff’ also offers an extra singing option — imagine him belting out ‘World In Union’ mid-dialogue? After all, as he keeps on reminding everyone, he sang at the world’s other great democratic moment in Berlin.
8 Mark Andrews: This was a tricky one, too… Homer J Simpson made the initial selection list, but, frankly he’s simply not athletic enough. In the end, we settled on football hardman and ever-improving actor Vinny Jones. If you don’t like it, argue with Vinny, he’s been signed and we’re not about to turn him away.
7 Ruben Kruger: Larry Hagman in his pomp (think ‘Dallas’ in the ’80s) and Ruben Kruger in his prime could well have been brothers. Look at those jawlines…
6 Francois Pienaar (captain): It’s a done deal, according to Thursday’s report in Variety magazine. Forget Jason Bourne, Matt Damon and say hello Francois Pienaar.
5 Hannes Strydom: Together with Mark Andrews and Kobus Wiese, the friendly pharmacist Strydom proved that white men can, in fact, jump. Yip, you guessed it, Woody Harrelson is the obvious man to fill this role.
4 Kobus Wiese: He might not be as tall as Kobus, but the resemblance is uncanny between ‘Koos’ and Bart Simpson. Take away the yellowness and squeeky voice and match up the hair — can you see it?
3 Balie Swart: If you need somebody with talent to anchor your scrum, look no further than South African acting veteran, Sharleen Surtie-Richards. An all-rounder in terms of her acting, she would have no problem moving to the other side of the scrum either.
2 Chris Rossouw: If James Dalton had made it into the final, then Verne Troyer (aka Mini Me) would finally have been able to move on from ‘Austin Powers’. That disappointment aside, we quickly found our man — none other than William Shatner, formerly TJ Hooker (geddit?), and presently Denny Crane.
1 Os du Randt: Not many people seem to watch the TV series ‘Lost’ but with a serious haircut (although Os did have some hair in 1995) and a good shave, Jorge Garcia (aka Hurley) would make an excellent Os du Randt.
Supporting cast:
Coach – Kitch Christie: Clint Eastwood (director)
Louis Luyt: Jabba the Hut
Referee of the Tournament – Derek Bevan: Rowan Atkinson
Tweet
Bart Simpson:
Kobus Wiese:
Sharleen Surtie-Richards as Balie Swart. 🙂
Good. But not as good as
Jabba the hut as Louis Luyt 😆
This one is priceless!
Os du Randt:
Hurley from Lost:
Andre Joubert – Tom Selleck
Andre Joubert: Tom Selleck
Chester Williams: Ice Cube
James Small: Christian Slater
Japie Mulder: Edward Norton
Hennie Le Roux: Tom Cruise
Joel Stransky: Ben Stiller
Joost Van Der Westhuizen: Nicholas Cage
Mark Andrews: John Travolta
Kobus Wiese: Sloth from The Goonies
Hannes Strydom: Will Ferrell
Francois Pienaar: Owen Wilson
Ruben Kruger: Alec Baldwin
Balie Swart: Jack Black
Chris Roussow: Jason Alexander (as George Costanza)
Os Du Randt: Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Why are they making this movie?
I guess for the American market. 🙄
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 6) :
I think it is a satirical piece.
I HOPE!!!!!!!!1
@KSA Shark © (Comment 8) : Not the part about Matt Damon. Or did I miss something.
Morgan Freeman is going to play Mandela.
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 7) : because we all know how big rugby is in america
Matt Dmaon has seriosuly agreed to play Pienaar.
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 9) :
Maybe i did. 😳
I wonder who will play me? Not a big part BTW as I watched most of the WC at home or on the way up to Zimbabwe…
The Human Factor. Think it’s more about Mandela than the actual match.
Oh hell yeah, think it must be a huge honour to play Mandela.
And they’ll all get to meet him…
@KSA Shark © (Comment 13) : No worries. I miss plenty.
The human factor – A look at life for Nelson Mandela after the fall of apartheid in South Africa during his first term as president when campaigned to host the 1995 Rugby World Cup event as an opportunity to unite his countrymen.
So far it seems it’s only Matt & Morgan.
Whatcha mean “only” M&M. Those are two huge stars!
@VinChainSaw (Comment 20) : I mean they’re gonna need more than 2 actors to make the movie. 🙄
Ah! I see what you mean.
But surely they’ll need at another 29 just to play the game? 😉
Who are the other two you were thinking of Racheltjie?
How come in all the time stuck on the island in Lost… Hurley never lost a single chin?
OK, I know you’re banging on about the class of ’95 movie, but how about the cast of its sequel – class of 2007?
You gotta make room for Leonardo di Caprio after THAT accent in Blood Diamonds.
How about with a kiff blond kuif as Percy?
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 23) : Who cuts their hair?
@VinChainSaw (Comment 22) : What other 2? 😕
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 23) : Who irons their clothes?
How do they clip their nails?
@VinChainSaw (Comment 20) : I mean they’re gonna need more than 2 actors to make the movie.
Comment 21, posted at 06.06.08 16:27:25 by ra-cheltjie de’ be-er Edit
@VinChainSaw (Comment 22) : What other 2?
Comment 26, posted at 06.06.08 16:37:13 by ra-cheltjie de’ be-er Edit
Very confused…
Wie trek hulle…. skoene aan?
@VinChainSaw (Comment 29) : Story of my life.
All that fresh air & time on their hands and hardly a hint of ‘romance’.
That journalist in Blood diomaond is nogal pretty.
The female with the long dark hair. Just anycase anyone gets clever. 😈
So is this 95′ movie for real… or is it a Dan Retief spoof?
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 35) :
Serias.
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 34) :
Was she French?
@VinChainSaw (Comment 37) : American.
@VinChainSaw (Comment 37) :
American. The chick in The Beach was french.
How’s about Mike Myers in Dr Evil mode as James Dalton?
Jennifer Connelly 😎
@VinChainSaw (Comment 36) :
Lol I [email protected] beleef… yeah just googled it… I read the book it is based on… unfortunately most now null and void with the last 10 years of events…
Matt Damon as Pienaar… come-on….
@Le Requinny (Comment 39) :
Why waste money on him? Just dress up a giant penis in a green jersey.
I loved the beach. What a fantastic movie. A bit girly but i just loved it.
Imagine being on a thai island swimming with hippies and smoking spliff all day!
After watching lost 4 all 4 seasons now I’m a bit fed up with it..I wih someone will just come out and say what the frickin story is with the bloody island..is it a portal, the 4th dimension or all just a dream 👿
agreed why has hurley not lost any weight?
Never see lock shaving his bald head either..ridiculous!
Dulph Lungren should play Pienaar with his scandinavian accent should be a cracker.
@VinChainSaw (Comment 43) :
I could easily settle for that kinda of life Vin.
@VinChainSaw (Comment 43) :
that’s why we went to thailand 😎 …
@CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 44) :
Ludgren as Pienaar would be a helluva lot more convincing. Danish is germanic, so would totally nail the afrikaans accent – sweetened with a slight yank taint though to allow the Yank aundience to comprehend!
@Le Requinny (Comment 47) :
Agreed just can’t understand why Damon was chosen..casting him is a mistake..or its too get people to come and watch it.
I thought Leo nailed the accent in Blood diamond certaily better than any other before him..usually the accent is horrendous in movies.
@CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 44) :
Never watched more than a few episodes… chose ‘The Shield’ over it as my mid-weeker tele viewing back then… probably the best tv action cop drama ever made…
@CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 48) :
Did you ever hear Nicole Kidman’s attempt at a Zim accent (let’s actually just say “southern african” accent) in that movie about the UN translator who uncovers an assasination plot – ABYSMAL! 😆
Ja look, I had my knives sharpened to mock Leo, but he surprised me – was pretty good, except for all Yank burr that slipped in – forgivable.
And although Damon has buffed up for the Bourne triolgy, I hardly think he has a realistic physique to play Pienaar – come on! Guess hye could be a viable Jouba though, if he grew a snor…
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 49) :
better than hill street blues.. 😉
The interpreter…shocking!
I also thought Leo’s accent wasn’t that bad. And I’ve sat through every single episode of Lost so far. They better get to the bladdy point. But I think there is 2 more seasons to go. 👿
A mate of mine sister is a model in the US and good friends with old leo, he came over a while before the movie and just hung out at braais with her and her folks to get the accent nailed.
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 49) :
I second that. Vic Mackey! What a beaut!
What I don’t understand is how they’re gionna give Damon the white complexion that Pienaar has?
Corpse make-up? Or just forbid him to set foot outsoors for a few months?
Vinnie you actually remind me of that tough as nails dude in the Shield – though I guess with more hair 😉
@Le Requinny (Comment 58) :
lol.
lmao, they need to get the same make-up artist who did the Monk’s make-up in The Da Vinci Code…
This isnt actually all that far off to be honest…
Matt Damon:
Francois Pienaar:
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 53) :
I know 2 more..I heard that they may finish the series off with a movie.. 😕
Have to say that what keeps me going back for more is to watch Kate..blimey she is sooo Hot!
Being a make up artist for the dead is a serious job.
They’ll need to get Damon a prosthetic nose, a la Nicole Kidman in The Hours…
Damon is bothering me though, he looks like another player – can’t quite pinpoint who?
Of course Suzie will have to be a babe & a Bok love interest (she “dit it” for “her man”) to spice up the movie.
@CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 62) : Freckles…. yip…. lovely…
@VinChainSaw (Comment 61) :
shit that is pretty spot on..Have to say I rate Matt as an actor I’m sure he won’t dissapoint..who is directing the movie..Oliver Stone
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 65) :
Cant say I was lookign at her freckles…
@CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 66) :
He’s the kinda guy that really gets stuck into his roles. I like him as an actor.
Ben Affleck would make a good Albert vd Berg. Seeing as though he normally makes the odd cameo appearance in Damon’s films, we can put him down for a cameo in the the 2007 sequel.
racheltjie u ever watch a series called weeds?
@VinChainSaw (Comment 67) : Her nicknames is Freckles, but I can hardly spot any. Suppose you have to get really close up. 😳
How about Scott Grimes as Jannie de Beer?
@CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 70) : No, heard about it. Downloaded a few episodes but never got round to watching it. Is it any good?
@CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 70) :
ahahaha. In downloaded all three series’ and watched it from start to finsih over a 2 week period.
That poor woman…
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 73) :
superb.
Scott Grimes?
I prefer Richie from Happy Days as Jannie:
http://digilander.libero.it/happydays/foto_attori/richie/ron_77.JPG
@ra-cheltjie de’ be-er (Comment 73) :
Yea brilliant I enjoy it though , very good charachters and funny dialogue.
Javier Bardem as Lem?
We can put his spanish accent down to Midlands-Taal. And didn’t he play rugby for Spain?
http://hissip.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/javier-bardem.jpg
Seems like I’ll have to check out this Weeds series after all. 😀
And Louis Luyt will have to make an appereance…
What soapie was Arnold Geerdts in?
Why waste money on him? Just dress up a giant penis in a green jersey.
Comment 42, posted at 06.06.08 16:55:44 by VinChainSaw
Let me know when you need me to step over – preferably in Summer, thanks.