Ouens, I are piling for the stasiewa en taking my karavn for Bloem vis weekend, cos I are got that lekker ou BLOUWENSPANBOBAASGEVOEL in a big way, ek sê!
So I are check the way that Vrystaat lightie Eberdogter are getting moered amper lightsout by vat big Sharks Morne Steyn and Wayne Murray ouens and I are fink for myself, LEKKER, want ou Wyand Olivier en Marius Du Toit is both well in excess of 110 kilos and are likely to dishes out some for the same treatment. So I are fink for the BLOUMENSE hierso we can like to see some lekker driedukkery under the poles by the likes of our Habana and his good pal Odwa Ndungananae.
But it are there by the voories where I are not always so seker, want that Chietahs have got some krag there by the front row and we are lost our hakker Good Throw Steenkamp to a freak draadtrekbesering. Jaco Engels, despite his verraaier naam, are not a bad oke to have for reserve cos he can like to frow a lekker punch when the need arise (and when aren’t there a need for a lekker vuishou, ek vra maar nou).
Now ve one oke that can like to worry me for a little are that John Smith ou wat they have there by the Tjietas, cos wiff that lekker kuif he have he look exactly like some of the brode what like to kueir by my local kroeg here by Pretoria Tuine. I reckon that ou, if he can just learns the trick wif the wielspanner by the linkerarm will be a great addition to that Bulls side now as Pedrie Wallenburg are going to play for Harlequins in Ireland.
But anyway, ouens, all vat deep technical analysis are making my head sore and it are time for nog ‘n brannas.
Groete tot na die naweek se SLAGFEES
Piet Pienaar (BlouBulondersteuner, Boer, Dronk en Trots!)
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Boer, Dronk en Trots! 😆 😆
Can’t help wondering, what’s he trots of?
Dankie Piet, dit was lekka lagbol.
@McLovin (Comment 2) : his lekker caravan with the horns
Good Throw Steenkamp
Boer, dronk en trots
Boer – op die verkeerde site
Dronk – soos gewoonlik
trots – op Victoria se haarstyl
Gud larf. I wish we had a “Good throw”in our lineouts.
@Ernie (Comment 7) : yeah… soon we’ll have John back, though
Classic…
Draadtrekbesering!? 😯
The team captain (Captain C) took Wally, the Wing, aside one day and said, ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think your wife’s being unfaithful to you.’
‘I don’t believe it,’ said Wally. ‘Not Louise. I’m sure you’re wrong.’
‘Well, I’m sure I’m right,’ said the skipper. ‘But why don’t you find out for yourself? Go home early today, before she’s expecting you.’
I’ll do that,’ said Wally. ‘But I’m sure you’re wrong.’
The next day, the team captain said, ‘Did you take my advice?’
‘Yes,’said Wally. ‘I went home early yesterday, let myself in quietly, tiptoed upstairs, and peeped through the keyhole of the bedroom door. There was my wife, naked on the bed, and there was a strange man undressing. Then he switched off the lights and it was so dark, I couldn’t see what happened next. Pity – now we’ll never know if I was right or you were.’
Some All Black supporters die, and they go to hell. The devil notices that they’re quite happy, and asks them why.
They explain “After the lousy weather in New Zealand, we actually enjoy the warmth.”
The devil thinks “I’ll fix them” and turns up the heat. He finds the Kiwis with their shirts off enjoying a chop on the barbie and having a frostie.
“Whenever the weather gets this good in New Zealand, we can’t waste it, so this is what we do”
The devil decides to wipe the smile off their faces by turning the heat down to freezing. He returns to the Kiwis to find them celebrating.
“What now?” he asks.
One explains “Well when hell freezes over, we’re sure to win the Rugby World Cup”
Piet finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself
on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life – until the boat sank.
He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no
other people, no supplies… Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day, looking like Victor Matfield, when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief,he asks her, ‘Where do you come from? How did you get here?’
‘I rowed over from the other side of the island,’ she says. ‘I landed here when my cruise ship sank.’
‘Amazing,’ he says. ‘You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.’
‘Oh, this?’ replies the woman. ‘I made the rowboat out of raw material found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree.’
‘But … but … that’s impossible,’ stutters Piet. ‘You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?’
‘Oh, no problem,’ replies the woman. ‘On the South side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the
hardware.’ Piet is stunned.
‘Let’s row over to my place,’ she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a
small wharf.
As Piet looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the
boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite
bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up
the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he can only
stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually,
‘It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down,
please. Would you like to have a drink?’
‘No, no thank you,’ he says, still dazed.
‘Can’t take any more coconut juice.’
‘It’s not coconut juice,’ the woman replies.
‘I built a still. How about a Pina Colada?’
Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and
they sit down on her hand-woven couch to talk. After they
had exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
‘I’m going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor
upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.’
No longer questioning anything, Piet goes into the
bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone
handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge are
fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.
‘WOW! This woman are amazing,’ he muses, ‘what
next?’
When he returns, she greets him wearing ‘nothing but
vines’ strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of
gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
‘Tell me,’ she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, ‘We’ve been out here for a really
long time. I know you’ve been lonely. There’s
something I’m sure you really feel like doing right now,
something you’ve been longing for all these months. You
know…’
She stares into his eyes. He can’t believe what
he’s hearing!
‘You mean …’, he swallows excitedly, ‘We can
watch the Bulle games from here?
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function.
He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:
‘Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping – Love you!!’
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, ‘Son…what happened last night?’
‘Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.’
So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?’
His son replies, ‘Oh, THAT!…Mum dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, b*tch, I’m married!!!’.
Broken table – $200
Hot breakfast – $10
Red Rose bud – $10
Two aspirins – 50c
Saying the right thing, at the right time… Priceless