robdylan

Keeo.co.za publishes race-free article


Written by Rob Otto (robdylan)

Posted in :Original Content on 13 Oct 2008 at 16:43
Tagged with :

In an unprecedented move and one that has shocked loyal followers of the site, keeo.co.za has published an article that is completely free of any race baiting tactics.

CapeShark investigates…

“The article in question has everything to do with rugby and nothing to do with race…regrettably,” the writer, who insists on being anonymous, was quoted. So what is this offensive piece about? What is the dastardly deed?
“It’s a story about the upcoming Currie Cup final, where the relative strengths of the players were explored with no reference to their race or ethnicity at all. In that light, I sincerely apologise to my faithful readers.”

Speaking from his luxury yacht currently residing in Antigua Bay, site founder and trillionaire Mike Keeohane was discernibly angry: “ I thought I had trained my winged monkeys well, but it seems as if they are slipping up in my absence.”

Chomping down on a cigar, Keeohane continued: “Everyone knows that racially tinged articles lead to more comments which ipso-facto lead to more page impressions, vis-à-vis, more advertising spend for our site. I mean, these cigars don’t pay for themselves”

Asked if perhaps the racially motivated articles were worsening instead of healing divisions created by the past, Keeohane gave a Sarah Palin-esque reply: ‘No I don’t think so, if anything it gets our audience off the streets where they would be picking their noses in public, playing Kurt Darren CD’s and insulting petrol station attendants. This way they’re safely behind their computers where they can do no harm – except in cyberspace maybe”

So is this a sign of things to come for the site? “No, it’s a once-off and the writer has been given his two weeks’,” says site administrator Eugene Popuptroplolis. “This bog, er sorry: blog, will continue serve the interests of the rugby public. And there’s nothing the South African rugby public like more than a little racial spice in their daily cornflakes.”

Despite the minor setback, Mike Keeohane is predicting big things for the site, “My new Percy Montgomery book will be out soon. ‘Monty 2’ examines his early life in Walvis Bay and SACS senior primary. I’ve also got a book planned for the imminent axing of Pieter De Villers, in which I accuse him of reverse racism, it’s called ‘The Boot Is On The Other Foot.”

Halfway through this interview, the Luke Watson story breaks, and so Mike Keeohane has to excuse himself and get on the satellite phone. “How does ‘Dutchmangate’ sound?” yells Keeohane, wanting my opinion. When I reply that simply adding ‘Gate’ to imply controversy is perhaps a little tired, Keeohane replies promptly: “Then start your own blog, my boy – this is my precioussssssssss”


25 Comments

  • parody! 🙂

  • Comment 1, posted at 13.10.08 16:48:01 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • parody? I thought it sounded quite factual. 😛

  • Comment 2, posted at 13.10.08 16:51:20 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©
     
  • @KSA Shark © (Comment 2) : you know what they say about true words spoken in jest 🙂

  • Comment 3, posted at 13.10.08 16:58:52 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • heh heh, funny one.

    i been avoiding the luke threads on the other site like the plague, i don’t even wanna see whats going on there.

    like my mom used to say, its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

  • Comment 4, posted at 13.10.08 17:21:05 by knersboy Reply

    knersboy
     
  • @knersboy (Comment 4) : oh yeah… we’re trying to keep it sane this side

  • Comment 5, posted at 13.10.08 17:24:18 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • @robdylan (Go Sharks!) (Comment 5) : i scheme a gud job was done

  • Comment 6, posted at 13.10.08 17:32:30 by PJLD Reply
    Administrator
    Clayton(PJLD)
     
  • @PJLD (Comment 6) : fortunately, this site is pretty much self-regulating.

  • Comment 7, posted at 13.10.08 17:34:33 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • @robdylan (Go Sharks!) (Comment 7) : true true

  • Comment 8, posted at 13.10.08 17:45:46 by PJLD Reply
    Administrator
    Clayton(PJLD)
     
  • @robdylan (Go Sharks!) (Comment 5) :@robdylan (Go Sharks!) (Comment 7) : what i like about this place.

    i don’t like getting angry, it pisses me off 😆

  • Comment 9, posted at 13.10.08 18:05:38 by knersboy Reply

    knersboy
     
  • @knersboy (Comment 4) : Best one I heard was it is all fun and games till someone gets pregnant…

  • Comment 10, posted at 13.10.08 18:09:17 by beez Reply

    beez
     
  • @beez (Comment 10) : heh heh, my mom never used that one though.

  • Comment 11, posted at 13.10.08 18:12:21 by knersboy Reply

    knersboy
     
  • RD you little shit stirrer! :mrgreen:

  • Comment 12, posted at 13.10.08 19:04:05 by klempie Reply

    klempie
     
  • Ha ha ha…

  • Comment 13, posted at 13.10.08 20:25:20 by just blackshark Reply

    blackshark - I'm back!
     
  • @klempie (Comment 12) : I didn’t write it! 🙂

  • Comment 14, posted at 13.10.08 20:29:11 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • @robdylan (Go Sharks!) (Comment 14) : You disappoint me! 😉

  • Comment 15, posted at 13.10.08 20:39:28 by klempie Reply

    klempie
     
  • @klempie (Comment 15) : Just returning the favour 🙂

  • Comment 16, posted at 13.10.08 20:46:13 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • @robdylan (Go Sharks!) (Comment 16) : Ooooooooooooooooo….

  • Comment 17, posted at 13.10.08 20:49:01 by klempie Reply

    klempie
     
  • @klempie (Comment 17) : That’s what I’m saying! 🙂

  • Comment 18, posted at 13.10.08 21:43:32 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • Old Dan from iafrica.com has some new competition at hand!

  • Comment 19, posted at 14.10.08 01:50:14 by bryce_in_oz Reply

    bryce_in_oz
     
  • hey rob you do have a sense of humour. 😉

  • Comment 20, posted at 14.10.08 08:53:36 by try time Reply

     
  • This is undoubtedly the most factually correct piece ever written.

  • Comment 21, posted at 14.10.08 08:55:12 by Sauce Reply
    Author
    Worcestershire Sauce
     
  • @try time (Comment 20) : it’s not me – CapeShark wrote this 🙂

  • Comment 22, posted at 14.10.08 09:19:04 by robdylan (Go Sharks!) Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
    robdylan
     
  • @Sauce (Comment 21) : I wasn’t kidding either ❗

  • Comment 23, posted at 14.10.08 09:53:18 by Sauce Reply
    Author
    Worcestershire Sauce
     
  • @Sauce (Comment 23) : :mrgreen:

  • Comment 24, posted at 14.10.08 09:56:56 by PJLD Reply
    Administrator
    Clayton(PJLD)
     
  • @Sauce (Comment 23) :

    I knew it sounded factual. 😆

  • Comment 25, posted at 14.10.08 09:58:11 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©
     

Add Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.