KSA Shark ©

Bugger it, let’s party like it’s 1994

Written by Andre Bosch (KSA Shark ©)

Posted in :In the news on 22 Dec 2008 at 09:28
Tagged with :

Join Kevin McCallum on the couch as he watches the Proteas bat for 187, with a target of 414 to reach and all sorts of records to break against the Aussies.

4.27am: Right, 187 to win, a target of 414 to reach; all sorts of records to break. Piece of old takkie, this. Jacques Kallis gets the run chase off to a start with a shot off his hips to square leg. Here we go. Gulp.

4.45am: South Africa reach 234/3, which is the same score they were on when Mitchell Johnson ripped them apart on the second day. Oooer….

5.13am: Michael Clarke takes the ball. “He has a tattoo on his arm that reads ‘seize the day’,” says Tony Greig. “I thought that would be something you would be able to remember without getting it tattooed on your arm.” Michael Slater got a tattoo of his Test number on his neck; he got the number wrong, though.

5.58am: Wicket! Kallis goes out to a Johnson sucker ball, cracking it to Michael Hussey. Robin Brett Procter, on SuperSport’s “unbiased commentary”, is distraught: “Oh no! Oh no!” Still, Kallis scored 50 and has gone past 9900 runs, only the seventh player ever to have done so. His assault on the evening of the fourth day switched the momentum of the match again.

6.13am: “That Boucher’s a hard man,” says Richie Benaud as the camera swings to Bouch sitting padded up in the changerooms. “I’ve always admired him. He loves a scrap.”

6.18am: Now Benaud admits he has a soft spot for JP Duminy, who gets off the mark with a flick to leg, taking the target required to under 100. We love you more, Richie. Please SuperSport, hire Richie for the summer, and not Greig.

6.30am: Lunch, and Robin Jackman admits Proccie is a gibbering, nervous wreck, while he is “sweaty palmed”. As is an entire nation, Jackers.

7.46am: The Australian coach Tim Nielsen, in conversation with Mark Nicholas, admits he is a “little nervous”.

7.51am: Every one of the Channel 9 commentators has advice for Ponting as the match starts slipping away from Australia. Benaud confirms that the punters have jumped ship: “Latest odds on betfair.com have SA at A$1.30 for the win and Australia at A$7.” On day four they were the other way round.

8.02am: AB de Villiers drives for four through the covers to take the target to under 60. Graeme Smith has not moved from his seat in the first and second sessions.

8.15am: A late cut for four from Duminy takes the score under 50. “Should be a walk in the park,” says Tubby Taylor. Duminy hits the next ball off Krejza for six and Tubby tries to buy a wicket by giving the KFC Classic Catches a plug. Three South Africans have fallen every time the competition comes on.

8.30am: With 40 needed to win, Nicholas, on the unbiased channel, wonders if early morning cups of coffee are being replaced with “spook and diesel”. Jackers hopes it is: “I just got an SMS from a mate in South Africa saying he is so tense, but that it’s too early to open a beer. I told him to go ahead and do it.” Nicholas: “A friend of mine in South Africa has just sent a text: ‘Be still my beating heart’.” Indeed.

8.35am: You can get great odds of 55/1 for an Australian win on betfair.com right now.

8.37am: JP hits Lee past long off for four. Just 29 to win.

8.47am: De Villiers goes to 100 with a pull for four. There are just 12 to win. It’s gone all quiet in the Channel 9 box.

8.53am: With seven to win, Makhaya Ntini has the iPod in and is dancing in the changing room. Biff is standing up now.

8.55am: Victory! 1-0 up in the series! JP runs three, goes to 50 and SA win by six wickets. Bugger it, I’m having a beer. The entire country is going to have a beer. Let’s party like it’s 1994


  • why 1994?

  • Comment 1, posted at 22.12.08 09:30:04 by KSA Shark © Reply
    KSA Shark ©
  • Cos we beat the aussies in sydney in 94 which was the last time we won a test down under.

  • Comment 2, posted at 22.12.08 10:24:47 by wpw Reply
  • The ODI squad has been announced:

    South African Standard Bank squad: Graeme Smith (Nashua Cape Cobras, capt), Johan Botha (Chevrolet Warriors, vice-capt), Hashim Amla (Nashua Dolphins), Mark Boucher (Chevrolet Warriors), AB de Villiers (Nashua Titans), JP Duminy (Nashua Cape Cobras), Herschelle Gibbs (Nashua Cape Cobras), Jacques Kallis (Chevrolet Warriors), Albie Morkel (Nashua Titans), Morne Morkel (Nashua Titans), Makhaya Ntini (Chevrolet Warriors), Wayne Parnell (Chevrolet Warriors), Dale Steyn (Nashua Titans), Lonwabo Tsotsobe (Chevrolet Warriors), Vaughn van Jaarsveld (bizhub Highveld Lions).

  • Comment 3, posted at 22.12.08 10:38:04 by blckshrk - PROTEAS Reply

    blackshark - I'm back!
  • Hope Gibbsy can sort out his issues. 🙁

  • Comment 4, posted at 22.12.08 11:33:12 by klempie Reply

  • @klempie (Comment 4) :

    I also pray he won’t do an Amy Winehouse on us.
    The Aussies will definitely be on his case but I hope he will respond with the willow.

  • Comment 5, posted at 22.12.08 11:38:51 by blckshrk - PROTEAS Reply

    blackshark - I'm back!
  • @blckshrk – PROTEAS (Comment 5) : If they do get on his case then they are REALLY low! 👿

  • Comment 6, posted at 22.12.08 11:41:43 by klempie Reply

  • http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,24831966-10389,00.html

    Awesome. :mrgreen:

  • Comment 7, posted at 22.12.08 11:42:46 by klempie Reply

  • @klempie (Comment 7) :

    It seems incredible that a bowler such as Mitchell Johnson could produce the best innings performance by a left-armed bowler in history and his side could lose.

    He took 11-159 for the match.

    His fellow bowling teammates, who lacked penetration, took 3-528.

    😯 😯

    THAT is some perspective alright

  • Comment 8, posted at 22.12.08 12:57:39 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©
  • @klempie (Comment 7) :

    The entire team is feeling the pressure heavily.

    So badly in fact that after the fourth day’s play not one player was prepared to attend the post-day press conference, a major embarrassment for Cricket Australia which just before the Test had assembled the media for a dinner designed to maintain smooth relations.

    It was a sign of insecurity.

    😯 😯 After Day 4 already????????? Had I known that I would not have been so nervous on Day 5.

    I would have thought the Aussies were still considering themselves as certain winners at the end of Day 4.????????

  • Comment 9, posted at 22.12.08 13:12:43 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©
  • @klempie (Comment 6) : Yep they are THAT low…

    @klempie (Comment 7) : Ponting has a dented ego problem. I hope he broke the team spirit with his finger-pointing. Ha ha…they should change his name to FINGER POINTING! 🙂

  • Comment 10, posted at 22.12.08 13:15:03 by blckshrk - PROTEAS Reply

    blackshark - I'm back!
  • @KSA Shark © (Comment 8) : And 204 / 528 runs were courtesy of one Mnr. Krejza…

  • Comment 11, posted at 22.12.08 13:36:58 by blckshrk - PROTEAS Reply

    blackshark - I'm back!
  • @blckshrk – PROTEAS (Comment 11) : Impressive figures! That was runs for Aus right? 😛

  • Comment 12, posted at 22.12.08 13:44:59 by klempie Reply

  • Blackshark – when + at whom did he point his finger?

  • Comment 13, posted at 22.12.08 15:04:28 by wpw Reply
  • @wpw (Comment 13) : He was saying that there were some “passengers” in the side and that he expected more from the bowlers.

  • Comment 14, posted at 22.12.08 15:26:23 by klempie Reply

  • Hope we remain calm. There’s still plenty of cricket to be played.

  • Comment 15, posted at 23.12.08 10:57:41 by McLovin Reply


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