Gavin Retch reports for the Cape Grimes.
The atmosphere in the Mother City is electric. Super14’s best supported side, the Stormers, take on the Queensland Reds at the birthplace of South African rugby, Newlands Stadium, this Saturday.
The Stormers will be eager to prove a point this weekend after they lost out unfairly to the Sharks last Saturday. Had if not been for Jean De Villier’s untimely injury or the fact that referee Mark Lawrence has timeshare on the South Coast, the Stormers would have won comfortably.
In fact the Sharks have not faced a full-strength Cape team in the last three outings. And had they, there might very well be a different name inscribed on Sir Alfred Currie’s trophy for 2008.
Nevertheless, if the Stormers win this Saturday it will also be a moral victory for the real Men-in-Black, as it will finally demonstrate how powerful they can be when all their star players are fit and fighting.
Reflecting on the Stormers’ loss last weekend, team manager Tobie Uphisownass commented: “Well, you can’t always have everything your own way. I mean, we live in the most beautiful city in the world. I think we can sacrifice one result.”
Come this Saturday and the players could find the weather conditions challenging as a thick South-Easter Smug settles over the suburbs. Unlike Fog or Smog, the South-Easter Smug is caused by millions of Capetonians boasting about their city all at once. The smug tends to settle over Newlands impairing the players’ sight and vision. The Reds who hail from lowly Brisbane will no doubt find the smug extremely hard to deal with, which should play into the Stormers’ hands.
“Yeah we’ll obviously try and concentrate on our own game,” says Reds captain Derrick Barnes, “but it’ll be difficult with the picturesque Cape fold mountains in the background.”
What does he think about playing South Africa’s oldest and most successful rugby union?
“Yeah it’ll be a huge challenge for sure, mate. They’re a team with few weaknesses. I mean, just take a look at them. They’re good-looking blokes. Some of them could be models. Some of them are models. And they’ve got model girlfriends. And model cheerleaders. I mean is everyone here a model or something?
Please note: An after-party will be held at the Waterfront Yacht Club at 7pm. Cigars and berets are mandatory.
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I will sit back and wait for the fan mail
LOL!
lowly Brisbane.
I take offence.
Why thank you, I am beautiful. My mommy told me so.
Very factual. 🙂
this article coupled with my intro for the Stormers match may leave the Stormers feeling we are picking on them. 😉
Alrighty then…
I think I should send a copy of this to Rassie’s lawyer!!! 👿
I mean seriously, who wears a beret?
“Uphisownass”
😆 😆 😆
😉
“real Men-in-Black” 👿 yeah cos most of the quality players were either sharks or should be 😎
ECELLENT !! 😎
😆
@provincejoulekkading (Comment 10) : wait and see who turns up in one, tah’ll answer your question
Uphisownass – That really bes describes ol Toby
@KSA Sharkette (Comment 11) :
Well at least Stormers supporters know how to spell ‘EXCELLENT. 😈
(runs away)
@provincejoulekkading (Comment 13) :
i believe everyone in the piece is fictional and any resembelance to real characters is purely coincidental. 🙄
Beale Drop Goal!!!!!!!!!!!
Tahs 11 – 7 Chiefs
58min
@KSA Shark © (Comment 16) : 😳
@wpw (Comment 14) : 😳
any miss-spelling can be excused by my amusement – you try eating, watching, posting & laughing 😉 😆 and STILL spell everything correctly 😆 🙄
@KSA Sharkette (Comment 18) : at least I post results on the correct thread 😉 🙄 😳
Dan Nichol?
Sometime ago Morne was wondering where they got their dancing girls – this article places them in a different category (to the one he mentioned) altogether.
@wpw (Comment 9) :
Is he the same oke that gives the journalist such a hard time.
GAVIN RICH IS A TWAT 👿
@Salmonoid (Comment 20) :
No. Cape Shark.
it is posted under original content.
@KSA Shark © (Comment 23) :
Good for Cape Shark then – there are worse things than being taken for Dan Nichols writing.
@Charlie (Comment 22) : Read it again
@Worcestershire Sauce (Comment 25) :
@Worcestershire Sauce (Comment 25) : @KSA Shark © (Comment 26) : He stays a TWAT 😆
@Charlie (Comment 27) :
Is it cos he doesn’t rate Adi’s defensive game???
@wpw (Comment 28) : Moet jy oek nie nog vi jou soes ‘n TWAT gedra, BTW da is niks wrong met Jacobs se defence nie… 😉
@Charlie (Comment 29) :
Ek wiet man!
Ek hou oekie van Gavin Rich nie!!! 😎
@wpw (Comment 30) : Hi, jy is nogal slimmer as wat ek gedink het 😆
Ha naam is Koekie, koekie koekeloekie,
Wil ‘ie ophou roekie, dra ‘n stywe broekie
I almost spluttered my glass of water all over my desk when I read “The Super 14’s best supported side” 😆 …then I read further and saw the wind up and only then noticed “gavin Retch” and “Cape Grimes” etc 😆 🙄
@Villie (Comment 33) :
Kette did the same thing. halfway through she was up in arms, a few seconds later she was rolling on the floor. 😛
It’s all true! 😈 😛
@McLovin (Comment 35) : in who’s fantasy 🙄
where is the rest of the heading? strmers to fly sa flag…at half mast.
@McLovin (Comment 35) : I was ready to start typing my rant and then thought I better read a bit more…. 😆
It’s weird..I used to work with Gavin Rich when he was a Durban based journalist and he was a massive Sharks supporter…amazing how quickly his loyalties switched when he got offered the job in Wee Pee country! 😡 😈
Is JdV playing?
I hope not…cozz that will at least explain this useless score…
Fancy gifting a non-RSA team TWO bonus points for a loss…
And why/how/where?
Simple really… for two seasons now…
-You have a loose-forward, a lock and a hooker (Brits, Bekker, Watson) having around in the backs, refusing point blank to do the grunt work up the middle, and poaching ball intended for your speedsters on the wings…
– You have the worlds most predictable 15, that cannot join the line on attack, refuses to pass on attack and gifts the opposition possession time after time with aimless up-n-unders… namely Goose-step Jantjes…
Ah well… better go open another pap-sak…
Gavin must be RETCHING this morning after he wrote this swill…
airports- boring
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 42) : um. You know it was a joke, right?
@robdylan (Comment 44) :
Indeed I do… 😉
Which airport?
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 45) : this one is in Antalya, Turkey. 5 am flight to Istanbul, then an 8am one to Londres. Been here since 2-30. Still over an hour till I board
Jeez what are you doing there… work?
Did you get any time to go for a bit of an explore?
http://rugbydump.com/
scroll down to the Ebersohn tumble… the sooner the Cheetahs get this guys involved the better… or we can buy him 😉
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 47) : na. It was a conference. Stayed at a 5 star resort and drank myself silly all week
@bryce_in_oz (Comment 41) : Yup..Bekker and Brits should EARN the right to hang in the backline by doing their primary jobs first. Unfortunately they are more interested in the fancy stuff than getting their hands dirty in the tight stuff!