Super 14 – week 6

Written by dean oelschig (deanoelsch)

Posted in :Admin, Original Content, Super 14 on 23 Mar 2010 at 12:30
Tagged with : ,

An interesting weekend of rugby which is a lot harder to recall thanks to Monday’s public holiday and Sunday spent inhaling Peroni’s at the awesome 4th Avenue street party. So, the blurry week 6 wrap, hangover style!

Blues (39) vs Brumbies (34)
Probably the most entertaining game of the weekend but also the most costly. A weekend like this had some pretty obvious results from a Superbru perspective and most people had no trouble predicting the 5 games to follow this. But, like a gym freak who does lateral raises and on the way down pinches his “member” between 2 X 15kg dumbbells, I learnt the hard way. I went Brumbies and lost 2 important GSP’s on most competitors who went Blues and got all 6 right. It’s these 50/50 games that cost you in the end. To be honest I was on the fence all week about this game and it was a coin toss in the end. But just like I make it rain in a draught by washing my car, I can make a great team lose by picking them on Superbru. So it’s my SB prediction that is to blame for the Blues learning how to run the ball, Rocokokcokockockockokkookoko’o finding form again and the Brumbies looking a bit awful at times. On a rugby note, is it just me or is Matt Giteau seriously average? He is compeletely ineffective and like Julius Malema, I don’t understand why he has so many supporters? I don’t get it! I am also really looking forward to Jeremy Paul in this week’s wrap from down under. I am not sure if you had the privilege of watching last week’s during the prediction stage of the show? It went something like this (please read in your best and loudest Aussie accent):
Jeremy: Brumbies are my favourites for this year’s tournament.
Other Aussie (Marty or someone): ON. WHAT. BASIS?
Jeremy: Aaah Mate. They are my favourites. I really think they are the front runnners for the title this year.
Jeremy: Yeah but they haven’t traveled yet.
The other Marty or someone, maybe Cairnsy: I also like the Crusaders!
Jeremy: Oh yeah, the Crusaders are also good.
The other Marty or someone, maybe Cairnsy: So who is it then? Crusaders or Brumbies?
Jeremy: Crusaders and Brumbies.
The other Marty or someone, maybe Cairnsy: WELL! Back to you guys at Boots and All, there are our predictions. If you can make any sense of it.
Jeremy Paul fail.

Bulls (19) vs Hurricanes (18)
Bulls, playing left-handed again, had their worst showing of the year. Jacques (Kallis) was gutted and had this to say, “Ja look, this wasn’t our best showing and has really dropped our average badly below 50. The team just weren’t up for the game but a win is a win, unless it’s a loss which this wasn’t. The team all had a good hard look at themselves in the mirror after they showered with Sanex and their skin was healthy and refreshed again. Wynand’s hair was so beautiful and he highly recommended [removed by editor for sponsorship infringement] shampoo”. Hurricanes played their best game of their South African tour but it’s still amazing to see a top New Zealand side leave after 3 games with only 1 point. For the first time in a long time, South Africa is becoming a feared place to travel to and should stay like that right up until the Lions return home. So for another 2 weeks then. What is worrying is that the Bulls might appear to have peaked a bit early? They travel to Perth now to play the Force and they could have only had an easier opening tour game if they played against the Fat Katz Invitational IX featuring Jacob, Botana and other BEE stars. Nathan Sharpe has said they will be ready for them but I think what he really meant was they are hoping to meet some real rugby players like Morne, Fourie and Pierre and he is hoping to get their autographs.

Crusaders (46) vs Lions (19)
Supersport viewership figures were at a record low as this pre-sunrise game drew audience figures of 3; Mr and Mrs Rose and Jody. I certainly didn’t bother waking up to watch the Crusaders 2nd string side play a warm up game mid-season. The Lions are now firmly into year 6 of their rebuilding phase and right now, they look like a mixture between Haiti, Chile and Afghanistan. Slade was apparently quite decent at 10 for the Saders but Carter came on to force a lot of late scoring opportunities to again make the score quite embarrassing for the Lions. Saders have a bye this weekend so make sure you buy Carter early on Friday for your week 8 fantasy rugby side to maximise profits. The Lions play the Highlanders in a game that should be as interesting as…oh look, an ant.

Highlanders (16) vs Sharks (30)
Again the ref was shocking. He blew us right out of the game. I can’t believe how he made some of those decisions. Is he F&%$(&G blind?




We don’t need to blame the ref anymore?

In the words of Rufus Wainwright:


Look it wasn’t as easy as the score suggested but FINALLY, we have a win on the board and have escaped the log territory now currently occupied by the Lions and Force. Quite easilly this could have been a draw and then we would have been accused of having Graeme Smith in our team as with a 23-9 lead, there is no ways it should have got that close. One could say we got a referee decision in our favour but everyone knows we are still owed a few more. I thought Ruan, Smitty (looks better at 1 than 3), Kanko, Adi, Riaan and, it hurts to say it, Bismark had great games. With the most overused pun in the tournament so far, Andy wasn’t Goode at all and Ruan will probably be at 10 this weekend. I think Lambie looks amazing and even though he was super solid, needs to run a bit harder and make some better decisions but I see what guys like Rob D have been going on about. Stephan looked shoddy and I recall him dropping about 4 balls. He really had a game to forget but why did we take our solid, aged fullback who has lost most of his pace and put him on the wing? WTF? But seriously, it’s good to be on the winning side again. Well done guys. I hope we can build now and knock over a struggling Canes side who have had the massive disadvantage this week of dealing with SA passport control. Go get em! 2 wins over there and return to the Reds at the tank and we could have 3 wins on the trot before our bye. Fine with that.

Force (10) vs Waratahs (14… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The musical version of this game is the new Owl City song called Vanilla Twilight. It is guaranteed to put you to sleep. Imagine a team that plays the worst rugby game of their lives. So bad that spectators leave the stadium, burn their jerseys and change teams and start supporting the arch enemy. That’s how the Waratahs played and still won. That’s how bad this Force side is. I am actually falling asleep thinking about it. Going to buy Red Bull.

Stormers (21) vs Cheetahs (8)
Ok. If you haven’t heard the interview with Die Antwoord I am going to explain what full flax is. Full flax (the zef-side pronunciation of flex) is nax level. According to the Ninja, once you are at full flax can you find your inner zef (pronounced zaff really). Full flax is extreme and I think it explains the Stormers defense. Just to ensure you know how to be zaf at the next Ford car bar in a Goodwood parking lot and know how to use it in the right context, say this, “The Stormars defarnce is at full flax this year!” If the US army had the Stormers defense at Pearl Harbour, Ben Affleck would definitely have made one less movie. They have now conceded 59 points in 6 games and have an average of less than 10 per game! Makes it easy to win a game if you only have to score 10 points. On the negative side, they really should have scored 4 tries against the Cheetahs but the Willem de Waal effect was obvious as he looked more interested in playing gaining grounds than running rugby. Hopefully Grant comes back so they can start running it again. They have a timely bye now and then a gift from God as they begin their tour with the ironic named Force who are without Luke Skywalker and other key players.

My revised final log predictions after round 6:



  • If the US army had the Stormers defense at Pearl Harbour, Ben Affleck would definitely have made one less movie. – Brilliant.
    Love reading these, thanks Dean.

  • Comment 1, posted at 23.03.10 12:41:56 by molly Reply
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  • I went to gym on saturday and watched the lions game. Big mistake. After Earl Rose missed his second tackle in as many minutes i realised my heart rate was leaping up into the 170’s from mid 150’s. No spice. Even more proof how bad watching the oke play is for people.

  • Comment 2, posted at 23.03.10 12:55:47 by billy Reply

  • lol… this makes my week, without fail!

  • Comment 3, posted at 23.03.10 12:56:19 by robdylan Reply
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  • You are a genius dude!! :mrgreen: 😆

  • Comment 4, posted at 23.03.10 13:01:55 by wpw Reply
  • ‘The Lions play the Highlanders in a game that should be as interesting as…oh look, an ant.’

    bwahahahahahahaha 😆 😀

  • Comment 5, posted at 23.03.10 13:05:58 by wpw Reply
  • @wpw (Comment 5) : That was my favourite too. My laugh gave me away at the office ….Impossible to be stealthy when reading these…

  • Comment 6, posted at 23.03.10 13:14:40 by Just a Fan Reply

    Just a Fan
  • @wpw (Comment 5) : wonder what the score will be and shit if the lions win 😳

  • Comment 7, posted at 23.03.10 13:20:49 by Chaz Reply

  • What is it with Sharks supporters and the refs ..jeez man get over it .. every team gets bad calls..

    Very unbecoming.

  • Comment 8, posted at 23.03.10 14:01:46 by CoffeeShopBok;-) Reply

  • @Just a Fan (Comment 6) : :mrgreen: 😆

  • Comment 9, posted at 23.03.10 14:16:14 by wpw Reply
  • @Chaz (Comment 7) :

    The Lions will not win!! 🙄

    Carlos Spencer is back at 10 (according to reports) and Earl Rose has been dropped!!

  • Comment 10, posted at 23.03.10 14:21:36 by wpw Reply
  • @CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 8) : I think it was meant to be a joke 🙂

  • Comment 11, posted at 23.03.10 14:24:41 by robdylan Reply
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  • @wpw (Comment 10) : I will be the first to admit he has come on since last year , but tackling just aint his thing that frame was not made to tackle , but rather to be swatted off.

  • Comment 12, posted at 23.03.10 14:27:35 by Whindy Reply
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  • @robdylan (Comment 11) : Please tell me that the officials were outstanding ….even gave the 50/50 call to the defending / visiting team !

  • Comment 13, posted at 23.03.10 14:30:16 by Hertford Highlander Reply
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    Hertford Highlander
  • @robdylan (Comment 11) :

    Yea sorry I realized it after i posted it .. but evry weekend at the pub I have the Shark supporters whinging about the ref ..granted in the Tahs game there was reason for it.

    @Whindy (Comment 12) :

    Rose’s frame has nothing to do with it really ..go for the ankles.. Aplon is smaller than Rose and he has more guts in his small toe than Rose.I stood by him in the beginning but frankly speaking i wish he would bugger off to Japan or something.

  • Comment 14, posted at 23.03.10 14:34:14 by CoffeeShopBok;-) Reply

  • @Whindy (Comment 12) :

    Hey Whindy

    I dont think his frame has got much to do with it.

    He is a ‘bang gat’

    Now compare Earl to Gio Aplon!! Now THAT oke is not afraid to tackle!! :mrgreen: 😎

  • Comment 15, posted at 23.03.10 14:34:14 by wpw Reply
  • @CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 14) :

    great minds and all that!! 😆 😉

  • Comment 16, posted at 23.03.10 14:36:23 by wpw Reply
  • @CoffeeShopBok;-) (Comment 14) : I have been advocating that for a while Wes even got me all excited by saying he was leaving at the end of last year but nobody wants [email protected]wpw (Comment 15) : Agreed, the guy has the heart of a (real)lion, and his running is unbelievable he gets past so many people I reckon the Sevens guys,were crying big tears when he said no thanks!!

  • Comment 17, posted at 23.03.10 14:41:42 by Whindy Reply
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  • @wpw (Comment 16) :


  • Comment 18, posted at 23.03.10 14:42:10 by CoffeeShopBok;-) Reply

  • @Hertford Highlander (Comment 13) : was most impressed… must be southern hospitality 🙂

  • Comment 19, posted at 23.03.10 14:43:14 by robdylan Reply
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  • @Whindy (Comment 17) :

    We can only but hope ..

    Seriously what message is being sent out to the rest of the squad that tackling is optional .granted the team as a whole r missing tackles but as a fullback actively avioding any contact is dire.

    And Killian remains on the bench ..which I rate highly.

  • Comment 20, posted at 23.03.10 14:46:14 by CoffeeShopBok;-) Reply

  • @robdylan (Comment 19) : i think we may have taken it a bit toooo far ! 😉

  • Comment 21, posted at 23.03.10 14:46:38 by Hertford Highlander Reply
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    Hertford Highlander
  • @robdylan (Comment 19) : You don’t get the same hospitality up north ! 😉

  • Comment 22, posted at 23.03.10 14:48:03 by Hertford Highlander Reply
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  • nice article – seriously funny.

  • Comment 23, posted at 23.03.10 14:54:49 by lostfish Reply
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  • deanoelsch……a tip for you….when in doubt about a superbru pick always go for the homeside

    Great article by the way 😆

  • Comment 24, posted at 23.03.10 15:12:30 by Pokkel Reply
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  • @wpw (Comment 10) : Earl rose well that good news he’s a popall :mrgreen:

  • Comment 25, posted at 23.03.10 15:40:08 by Chaz Reply

  • Funny… 😆

  • Comment 26, posted at 23.03.10 15:42:52 by Letgo Reply
    Friend of Sharksworld Author
  • Good article… 🙂

  • Comment 27, posted at 23.03.10 15:50:09 by Puma Reply

  • @Puma (Comment 27) : they generally are 🙂

  • Comment 28, posted at 23.03.10 16:19:11 by robdylan Reply
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