The Great Couch Shark

What exactly is the plan for Kankowski?

Written by Nick Gordon (The Great Couch Shark)

Posted in :Original Content, Sharks, Springboks on 30 Aug 2010 at 13:46
Tagged with : , , ,

Here at Sharksworld, we’re protective about our players. And we don’t like to see them getting messed around. After another weekend where the tracksuit pants stayed on, CapeShark would really like to know what Snor’s plan for Kankowski is.  

So once again the magnificently over-hyped Pierre Spies turned in an oh-so-average performance for the Boks. There’s a surprise. While not nearly as obscure as in his previous outings, it was clearly enough to keep Ryan Kankowski warming the bench for yet another entire game. Now I’m no fan of pointless substitutions but the question must be asked: what exactly is the coach’s plan for Kankowski? Why is a player who went on the rampage for the Sharks against Western Province a fortnight ago get thrown into the Bok team to simply collect splinters for 80mins?  Especially considering it was more of a sevens game than a test match.

Has anybody ever noticed that Kankowski is only selected to play when Spies has suffered an injury or been so diabolical that he cannot be risked for another game? This is what I like to refer to as the ‘Last Chance Saloon’. It’s a Damned If You Do or Don’t scenario. In these circumstances Kankowski is expected to score a hat-trick of tries or something of that superlative nature otherwise the Cape and Pretoria media cabal launch into a frenzied tirade against the guy.

So what exactly is the allure of Spies? Is he really any better than Duane Vermuelen, Ashley Johnson, Willem Alberts or even Keegan Daniel? It’s not like we’re trawling for eighthmen depth in this country. You might even say we never had it so good. So why is this guy (whose lethargy has been statistically shown up time and time again) allowed every opportunity to redeem himself and no-one else gets a look in? It’s just one of those puzzling questions that add to the enigma of Peter De Villiers. Equally surprising are the ludicrous reactions he manages to elicit from the TV commentators, even though in reality Guthro Steempkamp is far more impressive with ball in hand.

Anyway back to Kankowski. As I’ve mentioned before, game time is the key factor for any player. I’m sure even the Hoff himself would rather turn out for the Pumas and play 80 mins than sit ignominiously on the Bok sidelines.  We hope for Kankowski’s sake he starts getting a bit more time on the field, be it for the Sharks or the Boks, cos right now he’s losing out on both fronts. And the Sharks are all the poorer for it.

To end off, I’d like to highlight another Sharks eighthman. Regarded by those in the know of French rugby as perhaps one of the greatest in the game.  He’s helped steer his team to claiming the French championships and the Heineken cup.  He’s been one of the most consistently impressive players on the French circuit for the last six years. It’s a shame Shaun Sowerby couldn’t have turned out more performances for the Springboks other than his solitary cap, but it seems he too was playing second fiddle to someone far less stellar.  And got &%#ed off.


  • The plan is there is no plan.

    And you didn’t even mention his playing Kanko as a No.7 all of a sardine!

  • Comment 1, posted at 30.08.10 13:51:22 by Oubaas2009 Reply
  • @Oubaas2009 (Comment 1) : Quite right, and then when he didn’t set the field alight he ended up looking like a mug. It’s Ruan all over again.

  • Comment 2, posted at 30.08.10 13:54:10 by CapeShark Reply
    The Great Couch Shark
  • Wasn’t it Andre Vos and Bob Skinstad who wore the no. 8 jersey around the time Sowerby was playing? And then Joe van Niekerk?

  • Comment 3, posted at 30.08.10 13:57:16 by Letgo Reply
    Friend of Sharksworld Author
  • Pdiv, has no faith in Kanko…I don’t know why he keeps selecting him? Francois Louw and Dewald Potgieter both got more game time from the bench when they were the loosie cover.

  • Comment 4, posted at 30.08.10 13:58:45 by Letgo Reply
    Friend of Sharksworld Author
  • Great article. I ask that week in week out. They are wasting him. And then when he gets an opportunity he is unfit for a match or in a 2nd rate team. Then the whole world has something to say about how lame he is. Saturday Spies scored a try why standing around looking at the other players in the ruck. So guess we will see him for the next 50 games as well!

  • Comment 5, posted at 30.08.10 14:01:35 by RugbyGal Reply

  • Div just wants to mess around in plum’s plans… Everyone knows he is balls deep into wp…

  • Comment 6, posted at 30.08.10 14:07:01 by Vlad Reply

  • @Letgo (Comment 3) : Yep, Andre Vos, an average player and a bad captain during a forgettable period of Springbok rugby. You mention Bob, but he wrote himself out of the game for years by driving stupidly one night. What a pity.

  • Comment 7, posted at 30.08.10 14:09:52 by CapeShark Reply
    The Great Couch Shark
  • @RugbyGal (Comment 5) : Yep it’s at least another 3 years for Spies for looking slightly-better-than-crap in a touch rugby game 😛

  • Comment 8, posted at 30.08.10 14:12:26 by CapeShark Reply
    The Great Couch Shark
  • @Vlad (Comment 6) : 😯

  • Comment 9, posted at 30.08.10 14:20:31 by klempie Reply

  • I dont think the Hoff will mind collecting his 75K match fee for looking ‘pwetty’ on the bench! :mrgreen:

  • Comment 10, posted at 30.08.10 14:22:25 by wpw Reply
  • @Vlad (Comment 6) : If anything he’s showing a remarkable affiliation for under-performing Bulls players…

  • Comment 11, posted at 30.08.10 14:24:49 by CapeShark Reply
    The Great Couch Shark
  • @wpw (Comment 10) :

    Oh and he DO look pretty!

    Where did my profile pic go?

  • Comment 12, posted at 30.08.10 14:26:29 by RugbyGal Reply

  • Very… interesting turn of phrase there, Vlad. Especially for a person whose name is often associated with the sobriquet “The Impaler”. 😆

  • Comment 13, posted at 30.08.10 14:31:32 by Big Fish Reply
    Big Fish
  • Well written! Couldnt agree more. Spies scores one try and the whole of Pretoria go crazy about his talent – he has been shocking lately, and at present is probably 3rd/4th in the country. Someone made the comment earlier that Alberts is the player that is best suited to the boks game plan. I think this is spot on. He is similar to Danie Russouw (who played 8 at the RWC). I rate Hoff, and would love to see him getting a start.

    Its going to be very interesting to see who gets taken on the EOYT… Id drop Spies and take Hoof 7??/8, Alerts7/8 and Vermuelen 8.

  • Comment 14, posted at 30.08.10 14:31:49 by Mole Reply

  • Capeshark…well written and I agree 100%. Kanko would have loved playing in a loose game like Saturday’s. Spies is useless at the moment.

  • Comment 15, posted at 30.08.10 14:42:43 by Pokkel Reply
    Friend of SharksworldCompetition Winner Author
  • Yes but dont let my impaling name fool you…I would love to see kanko, Alberts in the starting line up… But please keep spies there for EOYT, when that arrives im going for my home nation england and do hope they trash the boks completely, maybe it will open Div’s eyes

  • Comment 16, posted at 30.08.10 15:08:43 by Vlad Reply

  • @Vlad (Comment 16) :

    Jy vat kanse meneer!! 🙄

  • Comment 17, posted at 30.08.10 15:25:58 by wpw Reply
  • @RugbyGal (Comment 12) : found it

  • Comment 18, posted at 30.08.10 15:53:34 by robdylan Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
  • @robdylan (Comment 18) :

    Thanks. Now if you can just fix my pc to show smiley when I post I will be happy!

  • Comment 19, posted at 30.08.10 16:00:18 by RugbyGal Reply

  • I agree with the general sentiment, Spies has been terrible and Kanko should have ben given the home leg to establish himself.

    But to be honest i cannot recall Kanko ever blowing my socks off at Test level – he also only has a meagre 15 caps for the boks – so its early days but i can’t help but feel that he isn’t cut out for the heavy games.

  • Comment 20, posted at 30.08.10 17:32:49 by Worcestershire Sauce Reply
    Worcestershire Sauce
  • @Worcestershire Sauce (Comment 20) :

    You tell me when he had a decent start in a full strenght team. And in position!?

  • Comment 21, posted at 30.08.10 17:43:13 by RugbyGal Reply

  • @Worcestershire Sauce (Comment 20) : Actually, he was brilliant on debut against Wales – Jakes White’s last test as coach – in one of his rare opportunities to start.

  • Comment 22, posted at 30.08.10 18:16:08 by neilster Reply

  • Honestly I have never been a serious Kanko fan..

  • Comment 23, posted at 30.08.10 18:24:49 by Ice Reply
    Competition Winner Ice
  • @neilster (Comment 22) :

    Yep he had a good game! Brilliant! FFS he was S14 player of the year! No person get that for just being ordinary. The Bok team misused him! His first year @ international level he was behind the Puke ( and yes I am a Province supporter) So he never got his change to shine! Like Sterioids with his Ads running trough a wall!

  • Comment 24, posted at 30.08.10 18:51:26 by RugbyGal Reply

  • Good arti capeshark. And have to agree with you on all points made ❗

  • Comment 25, posted at 31.08.10 08:06:16 by SharksRTB Reply

  • @Ice (Comment 23) : Not pretty enough for you??

  • Comment 26, posted at 31.08.10 08:17:06 by Pokkel Reply
    Friend of SharksworldCompetition Winner Author

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