Who’s your Sonny, Bill?

Written by Andrew Campbell (Sportbilly)

Posted in :All Blacks, Original Content on 4 Nov 2010 at 09:08
Tagged with : ,

Sonny Bill who? That’s what most Saffa’s, much like Robbie Deans are wondering right now. Will the Great All Black Hype live up to his name? Pretty much impossible unless he shoots rugby balls from his bum considering how the Kiwi’s are talking him up.

He’s a large fellow, the biggest of the All Black backs weighing in at a healthy 108 kgs. He stands over 6ft tall. Amazingly enough he cannot walk on water or fly but coach Graham Henry thinks this could only be a matter to time.

Surprisingly for an All Black he has Samoan heritage but was born and raised in Auckland, New Zealand. He made his name playing the poor man’s rugby code for the Sydney Bulldogs and made his début as an 18 year old. He got more accolades in NRL than that fellow who shoved his fingers in places we dare not mention. What a man, what a player they said.

In March 2007 he signed a 5 year deal with the Bulldogs which would see him remain there until 2013. He then absconded in July 2008 to Lionel a French rugby union club called Toulon. It was all about the money you see, as the NRL has a salary cap in place. “I’m no mercenary” claimed Money Bill. The Bulldogs were left in the Mapoe and he is banned from playing in the NRL until 2013.

Strangely enough, it wasn’t about the money when he returned to the land of the long white cloud in 2010 to stake a claim for a World Cup berth.  He’s also a great role model for all those little Kiwi kiddies out there having been convicted for drunk driving, urinating in public, has admitted to having an alcohol problem, was caught shagging an iron-woman in a public toilet, and has most recently also been reprimanded by Canterbury for going skiing whilst on injury leave!

Oh, yes and he’s a part time boxer. With a professional record of 2/2, no-one calls Sonny Bill funny names expect his parents of course. He picks some seriously mean opponents too, most of them with a body fat percentage slightly higher than their IQ.

Most importantly for Graham Henry, Sonny claims to have never had any trouble eating fish with bones in it, and can lift heavy things with consummate ease.

In the tradition of great Kiwi rugby nicknames he is strangely known as SBW. Kevin Mealamu was quoted saying that the AB’s hope to get to the bottom of why during the upcoming European tour.

Sonny Bill makes his much anticipated début in the All Black No.13 jersey this Saturday against the lowly English. We look forward to seeing you on the pitch son. 😉

For those who have already read this on my blog a while back, apologies but figured it was relevant with his debut coming up.

You can also follow me on twitter @sportbilly101


  • Apologies for those that have read this one already. My virgin post on Sharksworld. Look forward to many more.

  • Comment 1, posted at 04.11.10 09:10:23 by Sportbilly Reply
  • @Sportbilly (Comment 1) :

    Congrats on the first post. May we see many more!!

  • Comment 2, posted at 04.11.10 09:13:51 by Richard Ferguson Reply
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    Richard Ferguson
  • hehehe. Funny funny. There’s no doubt that he is one big bugger, but let’s see on saturday if he is as good as they hype him up!

    I still want to see him and Frans Steyn run into each other. The blood spatter should cover everyone in the stadium!

  • Comment 3, posted at 04.11.10 09:15:28 by PTAShark Reply
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  • Nice work, sb 😉

  • Comment 4, posted at 04.11.10 09:39:26 by robdylan Reply
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  • >> was caught shagging an iron-woman ..

    He shagged Margaret Thatcher??

  • Comment 5, posted at 04.11.10 10:02:44 by MysticShark Reply
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  • @MysticShark (Comment 5) : Can u believe! No she was a little better looking 😉

  • Comment 6, posted at 04.11.10 10:11:32 by Sportbilly Reply

  • It has inspired me to make a post in reply !

    Well done on your first post ….must check your blog out ! 😉

  • Comment 7, posted at 04.11.10 10:17:45 by Hertford Highlander Reply
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    Hertford Highlander
  • @Sportbilly (Comment 6) : Seems she’s quite the ‘available’ young women. Sies. 😈

  • Comment 8, posted at 04.11.10 10:19:41 by McLovin Reply

  • Highly enjoyable reading. More please!

  • Comment 9, posted at 04.11.10 10:26:11 by vanmartin Reply
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  • Great first post! Very funny!

  • Comment 10, posted at 04.11.10 10:27:35 by Big Fish Reply
    Big Fish
  • Hell, and we are given the Goose child stick?? Is this bloke also out on parole, by any chance? 😆

  • Comment 11, posted at 04.11.10 10:41:37 by Ice-Cool CC Champ 2010 Reply
    Competition Winner Ice
  • @Richard Ferguson (Comment 2) : @PTAShark (Comment 3) : @robdylan (Comment 4) : @Hertford Highlander (Comment 7) : @vanmartin (Comment 9) : @Big Fish (Comment 10) : Thks guys & girls. HH, glad to see we woke you from your slumber and got an article out of you!

  • Comment 12, posted at 04.11.10 12:13:00 by Sportbilly Reply

  • @Ice-Cool CC Champ 2010 (Comment 11) : SBW is like Herschelle Gibbs, Joost, Lionel Mapoe and Kallie Knoetze all rolled into one.

  • Comment 13, posted at 04.11.10 12:14:10 by Sportbilly Reply

  • @Sportbilly (Comment 13) : Bit of a Son of a (lia)bill(ity)??? 😆

  • Comment 14, posted at 04.11.10 12:23:48 by Ice-Cool CC Champ 2010 Reply
    Competition Winner Ice
  • Good one Sportbilly, really enjoyed it. 😀

  • Comment 15, posted at 04.11.10 14:12:35 by Letgo Reply
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