In lieu of the recently launched Sharksworld Awards thread, I’ve decided to weigh in with a few opinions of my own. Although I’m a relative newcomer to the site, having been posting for six months or so (although I’ve been following it for somewhat longer – thanks Pokkel!), I’ve had enough exposure to develop an appreciation for the personalities that populate the site. Some of them are somewhat shy and demure, other announce themselves with the subtlety of a silk-swathed sledgehammer, but all of them contribute towards making my daily interweb browsing entertaining. So without further ado, here are my (non-officially sanctioned) awards:
Part 1 – The Forwards:
The Front Row:
This is the coalface, the make or break of your team, the place that ultimately determines the success of your plays; a place for strong men with even stronger backbones. Buckle here, and you will forever be on the back foot.
Loosehead: Someone who can not only do the hard graft and bear the pressure of fronting up to the opposition, but can also feature prominently in the loose across the park. Someone, in other words, like KSA Shark, who can be counted on to show up with his thoughts on every thread, and who, based on his avatar has the physique to boot… apparently.
Hooker: The guy who throws in at the lineouts, and secures the pill in the scrums; basically, the man who gets the ball rolling, as it were. As a regular contributor of articles, the captain at the helm of our Superbru pool, and our man at King’s Park, it could only ever be Richard Ferguson.
Tighthead: The anchor around which you base your team. The guy who ensures you don’t “turbo-reverse”. The great Atu’an, carrying the Discworld through space… no wait, I’m mixing up my metaphors. Anyways, Rob Dylan neé Otto, take a bow, you’re the glue that binds us all together!
The Second Row:
The beating heart of the machine, providing the team with the necessary thrust, steel, attitude and altitude.
No 4: While not always that visible, good number 4 locks are the enforcers of a team, who stride the field of play like colossus among men. When they clean you out, you stay down for a while, and when they klap you, you leave the field of play. Not necessarily under own steam either. Ladies and gentlemen, the man with the gravitas of Gandalf, Big Fish!
No 5: The flashy side of locking. They’re busy. They jump. They run. They show up in unexpected places. Like Muzi, the Blue Bulls fan with an open mind, a soft spot for the Sharks, and way, waaayyy too much time on his hands, judging by the volume of posts he generates.
The Back Row:
The hounds of war, disrupting the opponent’s every move, and attacking with scant regard for their own safety and wellbeing.
Open side: Open side flankers tend to be committed, passionate, energetic, and to occasionally get a little carried away. Rather reminds me of one Sharon van Wyk, actually.
Blind side: There’s only way to describe blind side flankers (at least the ones that matter), and that’s as indefatigable. Tireless in their endeavours, being it bone-jarring defence or carrying up the ball into the teeth of the enemy. For his unwavering belief in his favourite player, and the fact that he can always be counted on for a heartfelt “GO SHARKS!!!”, my nomination goes to Charlie.
No 8: Kind of sounds like the domestic help, because he has to be able to sweep in defence, clean the rucks and tidy up at the base of the scrum. Add to that linking with the backline, and attacking the gainline, and you see that you clearly need a multi-faceted individual. And as with the Springbok selectors, I’m not entirely sure who my first choice here would be… So I’ll leave that one open for debate, and barring any accidental mishaps in the drug lab, will be back next week with the backline nominations.
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Missing your wife and child much?
Nice article CS!
nice one culling, entertaining 😀
FLIP I’m glad I dumped the sexy lips avatars. 🙂
Good Read as usual Culling. Great Stuff.
@Megatron (Comment 2) :
I’m pretty sure you going to get a mention in the team somewhere.
@Pokkel (Comment 5) : Has to be at scrumhalf for the constant snipes. 😉
Thanx CS.. that was a great read!!
@KSA Shark © (Comment 3) :
Pity Culling isn’t on facebook else I wouldn’t have had to show him some pics of the real Oubaas.
Very entertaining. Thanks CS.
I nominate Ice for the no. 8 position
Hehehe Fun Fridays, nice one CS
Pity we couldn’t make space for Grant10 in the front row. He carries a certain passion for those positions…
@vanmartin (Comment 10) : good call!
@Pokkel (Comment 8) : hehehehehe
@vanmartin (Comment 12) : he’d make a good tighthead… sticks to his guns and never moves an inch 🙂
@robdylan (Comment 15) : Keep him on the bench then, I hear he can cover all three 😉
@vanmartin (Comment 16) : 😆
@vanmartin (Comment 16) : And will never turbo reverse
@vanmartin (Comment 12) : He’s a specialist but has limited Game time. I’d happly have him as a back up on the bench. 😉
@Clayton(PJLD) (Comment 18) : 😆
must say, I’m a little surprised we don’t have Wes in that front row… 🙂
Great job CS. 😉 😀
@robdylan (Comment 21) : As CS has pointed out, he hasnt been around that long
@Clayton(PJLD) (Comment 23) : true. Like Paul True. Or is that Treu?
@robdylan (Comment 21) :
Maybe its because I DONT WRITE ENOUGH ARTICLES hey Rob?? 😕
Bastardo!!
I nominate megatron for scrumhalf there’s no way it can be anybody else
@wpw (Comment 25) : I always pictured you as more of a lock anyway. Seems like Andries ‘Muzi’ Bekker has briefly dethroned you 🙂
@robdylan (Comment 24) : Treu my bru 😛
@Poisy (Comment 26) : Sharon van Wyk has to has to has to be the busy body cheeky little scrumhalf.
I can visualise Shaz, free-kick given to the other team at a scrum, meanwhile she’s racing back with ball in hand to behind her own no.8’s feet, taking the quick a tap and playing on, forcing the ref to blow his whistle a second time to call her back. This is followed by the least believable facial and body language acting display of “I had absolutely no clue it was their ball” imaginable. BUT still she doesn’t release the ball as she retreats. The other team’s massive no.8 now feels obliged to wrestle it from her. She takes offence and next thing there’s a mini scuffle with players are racing in from all directions to join in the jersey tugging. Several blasts of the whistle later, every other player involved has got the message except the one and only deadly serious little no.9 who is still gripping her big opponent’s jersey as if she’s about to “klap” him. 😀
@beet (Comment 29) : inlove much? 😛
@wpw (Comment 25) :
Welcome to the site!! hehehe
@beet (Comment 29) : 😯 Its just dawned on me, Shaz is Ricky.
@Salmonoid (Comment 32) : lmfao 😀
@Pokkel (Comment 1) : Like crazy! Halfway to Durban already, looking forward to the reunion! Only good thing about this is that it’s the only time I ever get to listen to what I want (Gogol Bordello) how I want (LOUD) in the car…
@Culling Song (Comment 34) : 😕
@beet (Comment 29) : Ok, you’re writing the rest of the article. There’s no way I can top *that*!
@Culling Song (Comment 34) : You are good, posted this great article, interacted with bloggers all while driving to Durban. Impressive.
@Pokkel (Comment 8) : Coincidentally, I finally caved and registered last night. Still don’t know what to do with the damn thing though, but be scared, soon I’ll get to see what you’re actually doing when you should be watching the financial markets…
@Salmonoid (Comment 37) :
Coach Culling Song is going to have a selection nightmare it seems. 😛
@wpw (Comment 25) : you should write more articles… 🙂
@Pokkel (Comment 5) : lol 😀
You are good with words CS! Nice one bud.
CS: jy rots! 😆
Please keep ’em coming!
@Culling Song (Comment 36) : @beet (Comment 29) : Aw, guys, you’ve made me blush! Am honoured to be on the team, no matter what position you want to play me in!
@Salmonoid (Comment 32) : 😯 Contrary to popular belief, I have not retired from South African rugby to become some Frenchman’s beeaattchhh…. 😆
@SharonvanWyk (Comment 46) : hi sharon, ready for 2morows game?