It could always be worse

Written by Rob Otto (robdylan)

Posted in :All Blacks, Original Content on 14 Nov 2011 at 10:33
Tagged with : ,

Ever woken up in the morning in a strange place without any clothes on? With absolutely no clue how you ended up there, or any recollection of the events of the nigh before? I’m prepared to bet that most, if not all of us, have had a similar experience at some point in our lives, right?

It gets worse, though, if you’re All Black winger Zac Guildford. It’s always a painful and embarrassing experience as you try to piece together the fuzzy memories, aided no doubt by many hilarious outbursts from your mates and form something of a clear picture of what went wrong… but in this case, it’s so much worse.

“Heng on bru… you’re saying I ren unto a bah end stahted punching some rendom bloke? Nah wait a minnud, now you say ut was TWO blokes? End I wes alreddy naked when I ren UNTO the joint? End I wes BLEEDING? You shutting me cuz… All Blecks doesn’t BLEED cuz!”

The truth will come out, of course… don’t be too surprised if dear old Guildford, aka “Zac Daniels” ended up sustaining a minor head injury while trying to sidestep KSA Shark’s garden tap – that could explain the bleeding, although the bizarre behaviour afterwards can only be attributed to the fact that he’s an alcoholic moron, presumably a pre-existing condition.

This is, of course, no the first time Guildford has been in hot water for alcohol-related mayhem and while he has apologised, and the NZRU are currently “standing by their man”, it probably won’t be too long before the tire of his antics, chuck him across the Tasman and wait for him to appear on the Aussie reffing panel in Super Rugby. The only small silver lining here is the fact the people Guildford assaulted in his drunken rage were male, thus breaking breaking with long-standing All Black tradition.


  • Ouch! 🙄

    Nasty but true!

  • Comment 1, posted at 14.11.11 10:43:10 by Pokkel Reply
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  • What a muppet.

  • Comment 2, posted at 14.11.11 10:53:52 by lostfish Reply
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  • Hehehehe Too funny.

    I would love to see a clip of him staggering into the bar. 😆

    We’re lucky Bryce wasn’t there or the whole thing would have gone by unnoticed.

  • Comment 3, posted at 14.11.11 10:54:57 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©
  • Damn funny 😆
    But the guy needs help, quickly.

  • Comment 4, posted at 14.11.11 11:03:37 by JarsonX Reply
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  • @KSA Shark © (Comment 3) : Comment of the day 🙂

  • Comment 5, posted at 14.11.11 11:04:34 by robdylan Reply
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  • So I see the Crusaders are also using the Kamp Staaldraad technique in preseason! I wonder how Guildford escaped…

  • Comment 6, posted at 14.11.11 11:17:00 by SheldonK Reply

  • @SheldonK (Comment 6) : LOL 🙂

  • Comment 7, posted at 14.11.11 11:22:49 by robdylan Reply
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  • @KSA Shark © (Comment 3) : Skerp! :mrgreen:

  • Comment 8, posted at 14.11.11 11:23:09 by vanmartin Reply
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  • @SheldonK (Comment 6) : :mrgreen:

    I’d be more interested to know in who he was paired up with and whether the blood was drawn with just one punch.

  • Comment 9, posted at 14.11.11 11:31:07 by KSA Shark © Reply

    KSA Shark ©
  • @KSA Shark © (Comment 9) : classic comment on the sports24 website…

    “The two men he assulted must be p*&&y’s! My granmother can assult Zac Guilford”

  • Comment 10, posted at 14.11.11 11:39:35 by robdylan Reply
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  • Zac Guildford has a couple of beers.

    Nek minute

  • Comment 11, posted at 14.11.11 12:17:58 by hendrikp Reply

  • Did we ever hear who that Lions player was ‘being investigated by police’ in Dunners?

    Feel a bit sorry for Guildford, but as they say. You need to hit rock bottom.

    He obviously thought he had it under control last time out. Probably fronted the media saying sorry, and in his head he was thinking to himself that they are making a big deal out of nothing. But he can’t just ignore this episode.

    Hopefully gets the help he needs.

  • Comment 12, posted at 14.11.11 12:24:45 by hendrikp Reply

  • I wonder how Todd Blackadder feels about Guildford’s little party trick? I know pro sportsman have lives to…but surely they can keep it together..or at least keep their clothes on! Anyone care to draw up a rebel rugby xv? (and i dont mean the Melbourne bunch)

  • Comment 13, posted at 14.11.11 12:42:35 by SheldonK Reply

  • @SheldonK (Comment 13) :

    He’s actually been one of the more supportive people.

    New Zealand quickly learning how to deal with this sort of thing.

    – Tana Umaga and the handbag.
    – Sivi giving his wife the beat down.
    – Jimmy Cowan randomly assaulting people in Dunedin.
    – Rua Tipoki assaulting randoms in a bar.
    – Declan O’Donnel has been done for assault twice now. And considering his limited skill-set I’m surprised the Chiefs actually gave him a S15 contract!! They must be really low on wingers.

    List goes on. Turning into Rugby League.

  • Comment 14, posted at 14.11.11 12:52:38 by hendrikp Reply

  • @hendrikp (Comment 14) : Must be something in the water on that island…

  • Comment 15, posted at 14.11.11 13:16:24 by SheldonK Reply

  • @SheldonK (Comment 15) : I mean besides Tuilagi..

  • Comment 16, posted at 14.11.11 13:17:14 by SheldonK Reply

  • @hendrikp (Comment 14) : we forgot about Adam Thompson, who also gave his Mrs a smack…

  • Comment 17, posted at 14.11.11 13:23:41 by robdylan Reply
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  • Dan Adongo signs for the Bulls. Anybody has Dick Muirs number?

  • Comment 18, posted at 14.11.11 13:25:07 by Mocho Reply

  • Zac you feel a bid guilty after all that? 😯

  • Comment 19, posted at 14.11.11 13:26:46 by Franshark Reply
  • @robdylan (Comment 17) :

    True. And then there was Doug Howlett smashing up peoples cars at Heathrow airport. And then got arrested again last year in Ireland somewhere for drunk and disordely.

  • Comment 20, posted at 14.11.11 13:29:10 by hendrikp Reply

  • @SheldonK (Comment 15) :

    The problem isn’t the water. It’s the alcohol they mix it with!

    NZ has a very big binge-drinking problem.

    I’ve given up drinking myself. Not because I ever had a problem, but it seems that in NZ they believe you need to drink to have a good time.

    That and I used to work until 11pm at night, and then on my walk home (which was like 5 mins from Basin Reserve) I would have to put up with drunks all over Wellington CBD. Didn’t exactly inspire me to want to drink more. Definitely needs addressing by the government as much as by the people themselves.

  • Comment 21, posted at 14.11.11 13:38:32 by hendrikp Reply

  • Damn, why is it never sportspeople like Anna Kournikova or Maria Sharapova who get drunk and wonder naked into bars…

  • Comment 22, posted at 14.11.11 14:19:34 by Pablo Dinero Reply

    Pablo Dinero
  • I have a mate who used to black out and go crazy in his early 20s, normal one minute, beating up car guards and getting punched by cops the next. Some people just shouldn’t drink, i feel for the kid…

  • Comment 23, posted at 14.11.11 14:22:40 by The Quirk Reply
    The Quirk
  • seems it does get worse in this case:

    1) one of the okes he hit was celebrating his 60th birthday. Guess he’s been taking lesson from Sonny Bill in how to beat up old people
    2) he also made a bunch of lewd remarks to a woman out on a training run who ran past him while he was on his little binge.

    I swear, if a Bok player did shit like this he would be hung out to dry, permanently.

  • Comment 24, posted at 15.11.11 10:57:01 by robdylan Reply
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  • @robdylan (Comment 24) : Let not forget my personal favourite involving Byron Kelleher in Toulouse a few years ago.
    A pissed BK hit another car at 3am and tried to flee the scene. He was chased by the driver and then tried to fight his way out of his predicament – big mistake – the other driver was a pro kickboxer.
    Kelleher ended up getting a good klap and being arrested for the accident and driving drunk.

  • Comment 25, posted at 15.11.11 11:09:45 by steve Reply


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