The Quirk

The Chormers…

Written by Ryan Quirk (The Quirk)

Posted in :Cheetahs, EP Kings, In the news, Lions, Original Content, Stormers, Super Rugby, WP on 4 Apr 2012 at 15:26

Another option to the EP Kings conundrum could be to combine the Stormer and Cheetahs to form an ultimate powerhouse called “The Chormers!”

“What?”  You may say, “That is madness, who could ever conceive of such a blasphemous idea!  Burn him at the stake I say!”

And you’d be right to say that.  I’m pretty sure all the Cheetahs guys would love an extended stay in Cape Town but the reverse wouldn’t be true of the Stormers and Bloemfontein.  As nice a place as it is, it just isn’t as cool, nor is there as much to do, as Cape Town.

The Coach – Alistair Coetzee vs Naka Drotske.  Both have worked under the guru, Rassie Erasmus, and as a result, have completely different coaching styles.  Naka likes to attack, overwhelming the opposition with speed and excitement.  Alistair likes to defend, a lot, which tends towards close games with very few tries.  If they managed to combine those two then The Chormers could be the most awesome team of all time!

2012 aside the Stormers have always been a bit shaky in the tight 5, whereas this has always been one of the Cheetahs strengths.  They produce props like China produces knock off rugby jerseys.

The Cheetahs have always had to make due with one or two stars in the backline with the rest of it made up of journeymen and people nobody has ever heard of.  Sometimes this bears fruit, as has been the case with Willie le Roux this season, but other times it has ended in disaster.  Who remembers Danwel, “The Hands of Butter” Demas? Nonetheless, no matter whom the personnel, they always score lots of tries.

The Stormers on the other hand always have a backline studded with stars… And yet they battle to score tries…  The Chormers could have the best of both!  A backline with stars, that actually scores tries!  How amazing would that be!

I hope by now you will have picked up the tongue in cheek nature of this and my previous article on the New Cats.  Introducing the EP Kings into the competition at this stage is simply a poorly planned mess.  Nobody really thought things through properly and now we’re stuck making conjecture about The New Cats, The Chormers and the Red Bulls…. It’s time to scrap the idea, and it’s time for the people making these decisions to get off their asses to do some actual planning, research and, I don’t know, work, so that in 2020 when the Kings actually have a team capable of playing in tournament like the Super 15, they can be accommodated without destroying all the other regions chances…


  • Chormers?!? LMFAO!

  • Comment 1, posted at 04.04.12 15:56:20 by Ice Reply
    Competition Winner Ice
  • OR we could combine the Bulls and Stormers to form… wait for it… The Bummers! It works on so many levels! :mrgreen:

  • Comment 2, posted at 04.04.12 16:10:58 by Culling Song Reply
    Friend of Sharksworld Author
    Culling Song
  • I sincerely hope nobody at SARU reads Sharksworld. My gut feeling though is they do – simply to know whats going on in rugby (because they certainly dont). Heaven forbid they announce a new team the Chormers (or Bummers or Chats) …. 😯

  • Comment 3, posted at 04.04.12 16:20:41 by Caratacus Reply

  • @Culling Song (Comment 2) : :raz:

  • Comment 4, posted at 04.04.12 16:34:50 by Franshark Reply
  • My Chormers XV
    1. Coenie
    2. Tiebenberg
    3. Kitshoff
    4. Bekker
    5. Etzebet
    6. Brussow
    7. Burger
    8. Vermeulen
    9. Van Zyl
    10. Goosen
    11. Habana
    12. De Villiers
    13. R Eberson
    14. Aplon
    15. Dannilar

  • Comment 5, posted at 04.04.12 18:25:06 by Mutley Reply
  • My Red Bulls XV
    1. Greyling
    2. Chillyboy
    3. Pat Cilliers
    4. Franco vd Merwe
    5. Kruger
    6. Minnie
    7. J Stauss
    8. Spies
    9. Hougard
    10. Jantjies
    11. Basson
    12. Hollenbach
    13. Sadie
    14. Andries Coetzee
    15. Taute

  • Comment 6, posted at 04.04.12 18:30:47 by Mutley Reply
  • My new Cats XV
    1. Coenie
    2. A Strauss
    3. Cilliers
    4. Earl
    5. Franco
    6. Brussow
    7. Minnie
    8. J Strauss
    9. Van Zyl
    10. Jantjies/Goosen
    11. Le Roux
    12. Goosen/Jantjies
    13. Eberson
    14. Andries Coetzee
    15. Taute

  • Comment 7, posted at 04.04.12 18:34:12 by Mutley Reply
  • Wondered if a new deep sea creature known as a Chark would be bared by The Quirk 🙂
    Or a highveld predator known as a Sheetah.

    Don’t light the fires for the stake please.

  • Comment 8, posted at 04.04.12 19:04:28 by JustPlainSHARK Reply

  • @JustPlainSHARK (Comment 8) :

    1 Coenie
    2 A Strauss
    3 WP Nel
    4 Sykes
    5 Isak v/d Westhuizen
    6 Brussow
    7 Alberts
    8 Ashley Johnson
    9 Piet van Zyl
    10 Goosen
    11 Mvovo
    12 Frans STEYN
    13 Whitehead
    14 Jordaan
    15 Riaan Viljoen


  • Comment 9, posted at 04.04.12 20:06:28 by Original Pierre Reply
    Original Pierre
  • @Original Pierre (Comment 9) : Goosen above Lambi, you must be smoking goose 😉

  • Comment 10, posted at 04.04.12 23:13:22 by Franshark Reply
  • @Franshark (Comment 10) : I might be mistaken but doesn`t Goose have a better kicking record than Lambie?

  • Comment 11, posted at 05.04.12 08:19:18 by Original Pierre Reply
    Original Pierre
  • @Original Pierre (Comment 9) :
    7. Marcell Coetzee
    8. Alberts

    I agree with Jordaan being there. Saying he has no experience is not his fault. Plum keeps selecting the carthorse MJ.

  • Comment 12, posted at 05.04.12 08:20:24 by JustPlainSHARK Reply

  • @Original Pierre (Comment 9) : no room for Bismarck, or Beast? No JP Pietersen?

    Put down the pipe, Pierre, that stuff rots your brain! :mrgreen:

  • Comment 13, posted at 05.04.12 08:25:15 by robdylan Reply
    Competition Winner Administrator
  • @Original Pierre (Comment 11) : you don’t pick a player for only kicking, and Lambi is getting better by every game…

  • Comment 14, posted at 05.04.12 09:44:13 by Franshark Reply

Add Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.