Given that the standard of play dished up of late by the Sharks has been as enthralling as watching snails mate, it is rather understandable that both attendance figures at Kings Park, and television viewer numbers have rapidly dwindled.
For fear that this could translate into reduced readership at Sharksworld (and hence reduced ad revenue, and by implication, a downgrade from Dom Perignon to Moet Chandon for the site owners), I have been asked to contribute some non-rugby related articles to the site to help sustain public interest levels. Personally, I think it’s a rather bold and innovative approach; something akin to the old “divert your attention from your headache by breaking your finger” strategy.
So anyways, here we all are. Hi. I’m Culling Song. To paraphrase one of our newest members, I’m a bog standard blogger with not much to offer. I drink a lot of whisky. I listen to a lot of music. I lay no claim to being particularly knowledgeable or insightful about either, but years of management experience has taught me that it need not be an impediment to being opinionated. At least you know what to expect from me; forewarned is forearmed and all that jazz. Welcome to my first column.
Vol 1: Soundtracks From a Road to Nowhere
As you may have gathered from the title of the article, I live in Bronkhorstspruit. Every day I drive almost 60 km to my work in Witbank, which is infinitely preferable to the alternative – living in Witbank, a city which exists only because the earth is a celestial body, and for a body to function it must necessarily have an a***hole. But back to the topic at hand, my commute. 120 km a day allows me a lot of uninterrupted time to listen to music. Given my complete and utter lack of anything meaningful to say on this forum, I have decided to document what I have listened to the last week in the car and post it here for your dissemination. It’s not necessarily better than what you listen to (unless you listen to Beyonce, in which case you should turn back now, or abandon all hope afore ye enter), but it might be different, and could lead you to some new roads not yet travelled. Use it, don’t use it, as the kids say.
Friday:
Bill Callahan: Woke on a Whale Heart: The world is too full of musicians trading under the noxious “singer-songwriter” tag. Bill Callahan though is a genius of the highest order. Given a guitar with two strings and a palette of 3 notes and 4 single-syllable words he’ll write and perform a whole album full of richly textured and delicately nuanced songs. On …Whale Heart he has a whole lot more at his disposal though, and the results are lush, elegant and elegiac.
The Jesus Lizard: Nub (from Goat): I can’t believe how much I love this song. Actually, I can’t believe I love this song. Sure, Duane Denison is one of indie rock’s most gifted guitarists, able to instantly and seamlessly switch from caustic aggression to loping reverie, and sure, Mac McNeilly and David W Sims make up a rhythm section so metronomic you could use them to calibrate atomic clocks, but David Yow’s vocals are…er… well, he kind of sounds like a fat Elvis on crack, mouth full of deep-fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, having an epileptic fit and falling down a staircase. It’s horrible. It’s horrific. It’s lacking any semblance of musicality. So I listened to it six times. It’s wonderful.
Lily Allen: It’s Not Me, It’s You: Weekend! Time for my favourite pop confectionary.
Monday:
Godspeed You! Black Emperor: Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend!: I downloaded (from iTunes, in case anyone was wondering) this over the weekend. The first new album of GYBE’s particular brand of darkly cathartic, sweeping, post-apocalyptic instrumental forays in ten years, it was worth the wait. I just hope I don’t get banished to Hades for listening to this on mp3 (so if you guys want to have a whip around and buy me a turntable, the Project 6 Perspex will do very nicely, hint-hint); at least Godspeed will provide an appropriate soundtrack…
Tuesday:
GYBE again. I suspect this will stay on heavy rotation for a while to come.
Wednesday:
Pig Destroyer: Phantom Limb: Faced with the prospect of a day given over to disciplinary hearings, I needed something suitably aggressive for the drive to work. Pig Destroyer (arguably *the* flagship grindcore band, which is to heavy metal what a nuclear intercontinental ballistic missile is to an American civil war musket) hit the spot. Repeatedly. With a machete. Soaked in blood.
Beach Boys: Pet Sounds: It is generally accepted that the universe is in a state of constant decay as matter attempts to revert to a state of the the lowest possible energy level. There is a conflicting philosophy among certain fringes of the population that the universe is in the process of constant evolution with the aim of producing one perfect thing, and that when that is achieved all of creation will cease to exist. Had that been true, the Beach Boys would surely have brought our time on earth to an end when they wrote God Only Knows. Sublime.
Thursday:
More GYBE. Or rather, more GYBE!!!
‘Till next time, greetings from the Bronks.

I’m not sure that all the music you listen was crafted by mortal hands, but I do rather enjoy your scribblings. 😉
nice one CS…. I wonder if it isn’t time for Alternate Dimension Plumtree again? 🙂
snails mate 😆
My good friend Culling Song,you do have a way with words.
I attended CS’s big 40th birthday bash and as the members of Mr. Cat and the Jackal(the best band in SA) were busy carrying their gear to the back were they were playing, I saw 2 of them taking photo’s with their cellphones of CS’s cd collection.
He has dedicated and entire wall in his house with custom build shelves to his cd collection. He has literary 100’s of cd’s. I love music but even I don’t recognise 5% of the cd’s.
When it comes to music, I have learnt over time not to comment, people seem to disagree most fondly with me!
@robdylan (Comment 2) : Sounds interesting! Before my time?
@Pokkel (Comment 4) :
40th birthday you say? I’m surprised he is that young considering he listens to the Beach Boys! 😈
@Pokkel (Comment 4) :
Sorry that should read 1000’s of cd’s.
Culling Song also plays his music on these state of the art wireless speakers. He has two of these speakers that he carries around with him depending in which room in the house he happens to spend time in.
By the way CS, how’s that puzzle coming along?? 😈
@Pokkel (Comment 8) : Go away. That was mean.
No sokkie treffers? Vol 35 is a classic. 😉
@Culling Song (Comment 9) :
Not finished yet then I presume?? 😈 😯
@McLovin (Comment 10) : As long as they consistently overlook such classics as Natasha’s Boe Ba Bokkie, or Daniel Hoffman’s Soen My Op My Boepie, Sokkie Treffers will see no cash from me…
@Culling Song (Comment 12) :
Ok so I just listened to some of that GYBE……..wtf????
I’m a music man, but you lost me after Lilly and the Beach Boys.
Throw in some Tool and the like and I might be in a position to add my 2 cents/pence worth!!
@Pokkel (Comment 13) : You can’t give it a quick listen; the songs are normally 15 – 20 mins long and require concentration. If that doesn’t work I suggest getting high
@Culling Song (Comment 12) : I feel you. They can all soen my op my poepie.
@Saffex (Comment 14) : I like Tool fine, but I feel as if as their packaging becomes more elaborate, their music decreases in quality. Undertow is still my favourite. By the way, do you know about the hidden Easter egg in 10,000 Days? It’s pretty cool…
@McLovin (Comment 16) :
@Culling Song (Comment 17) : No, enlighten me about the egg.
I tend to listen not follow, have seen them twice in London, drummer with his double set is pretty awesome live.
There was talk of a new album in the near future.
Am with you on Undertow, but 10,000 Days is up there – especially the opening two tracks
@CS, your taste in music boggles my mind but I do enjoy your ramblings
@CS, I can do without Jesus Lizard and Pig destroyer. Bill (SMOG) Callahan reminds me of Leonard Cohen / Lou Reed, and is OK. On a first listen, GBYE reminds me of early Pink Floyd and Hawkwind, influenced by Soft Machine and Gong. Good stuff.
I have no effing idea what u are on…or on about…but thanks! 😛
@Saffex (Comment 19) : If you join Viginti Tres and Wings For Marie (in that order) you get one track that is 11:13 long…. The same duration as 10,000 Days. If you then play the combined track and 10,000 Days simultaneously they sync up, and at the end the vocals alternate between the two. Nifty!
@Culling Song (Comment 23) : the stuff u re on, now even sounds better!! Please send some!
@Haddock (Comment 21) : Bill Callahan, like Leonard Cohen and Lou Reed has kind of a conversational singing style, and is a keen observer of the human condition. I prefer Bill to the other two, and I prefer Lou Reed’s Velvet Underground output to his solo work, but that’s just me.
With regards to GYBE, there is a passage on the first song on the first disc of Lift Yr. Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven that I am physically incapable of hearing without seeing the marching hammers from The Wall in my mind’s eye.
@Culling Song (Comment 25) : besides Beach Boys, Leonard Cohen is the only names I recognise! Do one buy this stuff on the black market?
@Ice (Comment 26) : 😆
@Culling Song (Comment 25) : The Wall, greatest musical documentary ever made! Decades before it’s time!
@Pokkel (Comment 28) : And still as relevant as the day it was created.
@Culling Song (Comment 23) :
What happens if you play Stairway to Heaven backwards?
@Big Fish (Comment 30) : @Big Fish (Comment 30) : You hear something that sounds like “eew snuuum wznnooo bllduuk mnbggthh”, which, according to my Sunday school teacher is “be homosexual” in an obscure Hungarian dialect. Apparently. That Satan sure is crafty!
@Culling Song (Comment 31) :
“‘Oh here’s to my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is satan. He’ll give those with him 666, there was a little toolshed where he made us suffer, sad Satan.'”
Now go to http://jeffmilner.com/backmasking/stairway-to-heaven-backwards.html and let me know.
try listening to the editors,ingrid michealson,the joy formidable or kean on thursdays 🙂
@Poisy (Comment 33) : To me the Editors sound like the poor man’s Interpol…
@Culling Song (Comment 34) : tell you what suggest 5 songs for me to listen to by anyone doesnt have to be 1 band or artist just for 2mrw and i’ll do the same and if you feel the songs i suggested didnt improve your day or mental well being or whatever than i’ll buy you wiskey nd if they do imprv ur day than you owe me fanta orange deal?
@Poisy (Comment 35) : Cool! Fire away!
hold on give me more info abt urclf
@Big Fish (Comment 32) : Now *that* was educational!
@Poisy (Comment 37) : Didn’t you read the article?
i did but tell me famly wise,dreams alive or dead? aspirations if any and your youth
@Poisy (Comment 40) : White male, 40, married, 2 kids, all awesome. Currently in an exceptionally good place in life. Like all types of music except black metal, modern r&b or any form of guitar heroics. That OK?
@Culling Song (Comment 41) : yup here goes
ingrid michealson-the chain
the shins-new slang
death cab for cutie-title and registration
the editors-smokers outside hospital doors
paramore-franklin
and what are yours?
@Culling Song (Comment 41) : bonus track : the gaslight anthem-45
@Poisy (Comment 43) : Man, I love that Shins track. I like Death Cab too, although I can’t listen to a whole album, it gets too cloying. I’ll check the rest out on YouTube tomorrow.
@Culling Song (Comment 23) : Wow, that’s some doing – thanks for that
Culling Song and fellow muso’s – this is a tough one. Give me your favourite 20 bands/artist
@Poisy (Comment 43) : My five:
Mirah – Don’t Die In Me
Fiery Furnaces – Bow Wow
Gogol Bordello – Start Wearing Purple
Fleet Foxes – White Winter Hymnal
Nina Simone – Love Me Or Leave Me
i know what you mean about a death cab album i have the same issue with them brilliant in 1 song not so much the next. you suppose to give me your 5 songs to listen 2 lol
@Culling Song (Comment 48) : got it! i dont know any of those songs so on my drive to work i’ll listen and tell u what i thought 🙂
@Saffex (Comment 47) :
Pixies
Godspeed You Black Emperor
Smog
Liars
Swans
Modest Mouse
Tom Waits
Sonic Youth
Arcade Fire
Portishead
Menomena
Microphones
Fugazi
Les Savy Fav
Brainiac
Pavement
Royal Trux
How many is that?
@Culling Song (Comment 51) : Add:
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
Grandaddy
Helmet
@Saffex (Comment 47) :
1.paramore
2.30 seconds to mars
3.evanescence
4.linkin park
5.death cab for cutie
6.kean
7.arctic monkeys
8.nelly furtado
9.daughter
10.fall out boy
11.the gaslight anthem
12.coldplay
13.dear reader
14.the joy formidable
15.eminem
16.the editors
17.arcade fire
18.the national
19.brandi carlile
20.paul tiernan
Wow, I only know Pixies, Tom Waits, Sonic Youth, Arcade Fire, Portishead, Pavement, Grandaddy and Helmet……of which I am a big fan of Pixies and Arcade Fire.
@Culling Song (Comment 52) :
You know I like to keep it gangsta – this one’s for you: Macklemore – Can’t hold us. 😉
Sure gets me psyched for work on the drive over in the morning.
My 20 would be: Tool, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Chili Peppers, Kings of Leon, Mumford & Sons, Muse, Bush, Juluka, Bob Marley, Burning Spear, Green Day, The Doors, REM, Dave Matthews Band, Stereophonics, U2, The Strokes, Talking Heads, Queens of the Stoneage……..hell I could go on and am sure I have missed a few
@Poisy (Comment 53) : Am with you on 30 seconds to mars, death cab for cutie, kean, artic monkeys, arcade fire, the gaslight anthem, coldplay, the editors
@Big Fish (Comment 55) : awe awe i really dig that song and i can rap it 🙂 took me a min to figure out how to rap fast lol
@Saffex (Comment 56) : love muse,the strokes and u2 and my gf loves kol(she has a thing for beards so ofcz i cant grow one lol)
@Poisy (Comment 43) : OK, I listened to some of this stuff this morning. I don’t normally like to comment after only one or two listens, but initial impressions are that the Ingrid Michealson is nice, but I doubt that I will ever do more than just like it (although I think my wife might dig it), the Shinrs are frikken’ amazing, and the Death Cab is archetypal Death Cab. maybe what I should do is spend the week listening and do a report back next week as my next article…
@Culling Song (Comment 60) : okay you do that 🙂 i just found all ur songs abt to have breakfast than off to work than i’ll listen to them
@Culling Song (Comment 60) : mirah -dont die on me
interesting song thought the lyrics are refering to a blibical story mainly genesis but not gonna talk abt the bible being an athiest and all,overall i like song but would not make my playlist
@Culling Song (Comment 60) : fiery furnaces-bow wow (seriously dude what was that i cant stop laughing)
very VERY fun song i will def add this song to my travelling list sounds like a fun song to have on a long drive and the piano solos(if you can call them that) are hilarious
@Culling Song (Comment 60) : hate it. lots of silly songs out there majority of them better executed than this song enough said.delete
@Culling Song (Comment 60) : fleet foxes-white winter hymnal i really enjoy this one not sure what genre it is so placed it under indie rock,love the subtle and control guitar rifts nice strumming makes it melodic
@Culling Song (Comment 60) : nina simone-love me or leave me
awesome old school jazz/blues vibe than shifts into classical music with that piano solo thn back to blues not my kind of music but i can appreciate good music and talent.my friend is really into jazz i’ll send him this song im sure he will love it
@Culling Song (Comment 48) : If you like Fleet Foxes, you’ll also like Band of Horses, Alt-J, Broken Bells and Midlake.
I mix and match pretty regularly, but there are some albums I always have on every iPod or USB for the car or home:
Pink Floyd – Animals
Serj Tankian – Elect the Dead
Rammstein – Mutter
Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes
Peter Tosh _ Mystic Man
Bob Marley – Babylon By Bus
Black Sabbath – Paranoid
PJ Harvey – Let England Shake
Gorillaz – Plastic Beach
Yello – Pocket Universe
Metallica – The Black Album
Billy Talent – II
LKJ – Forces of Victory
Biffy Clyro -Puzzle
Burning Spear – LIve in Paris `88
Jean-Michel Jarre – Concert in China
Calexico – Carried to Dust
@rhineshark (Comment 67) : billy talent II is they best album by far “fallen leaves” “surrender” are my favourites from it III isnt bad either “saint veronica” has the best bass guitar solo iv heard in awhile!
@Big Fish (Comment 30) : You come crashing down to earth? 😆
ok, let’s have a go at a top 20.
Does it need to be in order?
Ok, mine isn’t….
Depeche Mode
Counting Crows
Glen Hansard/The Frames
Beatles
Mumford & Sons
Noah & the Whale
Leonard Cohen
Bob Dylan
Guns ‘n Roses
Rufus Wainwright
Geoff Buckley
Ty Watling
Jon Ondrasik (when he gets off his US military kick)
Shaun Mullins
Randy Newman (as songwriter, not performer)
Sarah McLachlan
The Tallest Man on Earth
George Michael (I’m sorry)
Dawes
Eminem
@Haddock (Comment 21) : welcome to the site. Billion of blistering barnacles and all that.
@robdylan (Comment 70) : glen hansard was amazing in that movie once!!!!
@Poisy (Comment 72) : still get goosies every time I hear those songs.
@rhineshark (Comment 67) : I like Band of Horses very much, but they are also a band of diminishing returns; the first 2 albums are essential, thereafter I can take it or leave it.
Broken Bells is cool too; Danger Mouse seems to have a knack for interesting partnerships/side projects.
I think I need to scratch my top 20, because I omitted Fiery Furnaces, Fkeet Foxes, Okkervil River, Bob Dylan, Built to Spill, Calexico, Miles Davis, Magnetic Fields, and whole bunch of others as I think about it
Spoon! Sparklehorse!! How the €$¥%# did I omit them?? What’s wrong with me!?
@Poisy (Comment 68) : Also love “Devil in a midnight mass”. The lyrics are pretty damning of the Catholic Church.
@Culling Song (Comment 74) : Agree about Band of Horses. I haven’t been able to get into their stuff after Cease to begin.
An album I forgot to put on my list is Guano Apes “Proud like a god”.
@Poisy (Comment 68) : I actually have Billy Talent III but haven’t listened to it thoroughly. That’s the problem with getting everything off the internet and downloading 10 albums at a time. It’s easy to miss some. I’m going to sync it to my phone and give it a decent listen.
@robdylan (Comment 70) : Didn’t also mention once you were an Elbow fan?
@Poisy (Comment 59) : Your gf has better taste than you!!!!
@rhineshark (Comment 67) : I like it reggae man……Peter Tosh, Burning Spear and Bob……adds some Culture to your list.
Am with you on Metallica, Pink Floyd, Biffy Cyro – got the new Biffy the other day, great stuff
@robdylan (Comment 70) : Rob, I’m liking your taste, you now just need to work on your rugby!!
Am with you on Depeche Mode, Counting Crows, Dylan, Noah, Beatles, Rufus and Mumford
So this is my all-time favourite song…. written and recorded by a good friend here in Sevenoaks, Ty Watling.
Nice one Rob……here is mine, my sons band when he was at school
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0ah9Wqraf8
Should remane this thread to “Kak Praat” thread 😀
@Uli (Comment 86) : I thought that much was clear
@Saffex (Comment 85) : nice – which one is he?
And did he get the girl? 🙂
Had a bit of a Transvision Vamp feel….
@Saffex (Comment 81) : matter of opinion lol
@Saffex (Comment 85) : nice chic did your son pull her?
@robdylan (Comment 84) : your friend is super talented what other stuff you got by him? what are the chords for that song?
@Poisy (Comment 91) : http://www.tywatling.com/
since we’re blowing trumpets of our own, let me add my song here too.
George Michael??? ROB!?!?
@Ice (Comment 94) : erm…. I can explain.
Early stuff… A Different Corner, Father Figure, Faith, Praying for Time
@robdylan (Comment 88) : On guitar, white T shirt, that was shot in my lounge, cleared it out, never told dad or neighbours – rocked the place down
@Poisy (Comment 90) : They have always been very close, at Uni together now!!
@Saffex (Comment 96) : awesome. What does he do now?
@Saffex (Comment 83) : Saffex, you going to see DM at the O2 next month?
@robdylan (Comment 98) : @Saffex (Comment 97) : never mind… you answered
@robdylan (Comment 93) : Nice voice Rob, that reminded me a little of Rodriguez
@robdylan (Comment 92) : the think wants me to buy it in pounds i clicked and its not letting me thought it would just work out the currency on its own
@Saffex (Comment 97) : lol classic guitar and vocals hook up typical
@Saffex (Comment 101) : oh wow…. high praise indeed, thanks mate.
Shit – can’t believe I left Uncle Sixto off my list
@Poisy (Comment 102) : can’t you just pay via PayPal?
@robdylan (Comment 99) : No, but I am going to see Mumford & Sons, supported by Vampire Weekend and Ben Howard sometime in July at the Olympic stadium
@Saffex (Comment 106) : oooh cool.
Ben Howard…. Another I should have added to my list.
@robdylan (Comment 98) : Studying music in Leeds – 1st year
@robdylan (Comment 105) : its not giving me that option when i get home i’ll use my computer maybe my phone isnt displaying everything
@Poisy (Comment 109) : ah yeah – that’s probably the issue
@robdylan (Comment 107) : If you like Ben Howard, you will like the Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men, Passenger
@Saffex (Comment 111) : ha – funny! My wife is big time into Lumineers and just introduced me to Passenger this morning.
I’m not sold on him yet – sounds a bit like he’s on helium
@Saffex (Comment 111) : of monsters and men are amazing the 2 vocalists have such distinctive voices
Any of you got some Bles Bridges or Gé Korsten cd’s?
these songs are what make me who i am they have all played a part in my upbringing one way or another and they shaped who i am.i decided not to repeat artists or it would be a top 500 instead of 50 songs
1.paramore-that’s what you get
2.eminem-say goodbye 2 hollywood
3.linkin park-numb
4.evanescence-evrybdys fool
5.avril lavign-nobody’s home
6.maroon 5-she will be loved
7.dear reader-great white bear
8.death cab for cutie-cath
9.flyleaf-so I thought
10.skwatta kamp-sunshine
11.30 seconds to mars-closer to the edge
12.the national-all the wine
13.pink-family portrait
14.arctic monkeys flourescent adolescent
15.florence and the machine-rabbit heart
16.lostprophets-last train home
17.the fray-how to save a life
18.fall out boy-sugar we going down
19.fefe dopson-everything
20.anastacia-welcome to my truth
21.kean-chrystal ball
22.muse-starlight
23.simple plan-perfect
24.sum 41-pieces
25.joy williams-speaking a dead language
26.tiesto ft sneaky sound system-I will be here
27.nelly furtado-try
28.the boxer rebelion-spitting fire
29.paul tiernan-how to say goodbye
30.bloc party-the prayer
31.placebo-song to say goodbye
32.micheal jackson-heal the world
33.r.kelly-I wish
34.kelly rowland-stole
35.freshly ground-nomvula
36.young guns-sons of apathy
37.you me at six-stay with me
38.arcade fire-ready to start
39.goo goo dolls-acoustic #3
40.the cure-lullaby
41.maria carey-make it threw the rain
42.the joy formidable-this ladder is ours
43.daughter-human
44.slipknot-pychosocial
45.2pac ft nas-thugs mansion
46.outkast- ms jackson
47.dj sbu-it will rain
48.of monsters and men-mountain sound
49.justn timberlake-lovestoned
50.u2-beautiful day
@robdylan (Comment 112) : No man Passenger is great – clever lyrics……stick this on your iPod
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QUc8qhLKOA
@Poisy (Comment 113) : Yeah they are from Northern Europe somewhere….not sure if its Norway
@JD (Comment 114) : I’d rather shoot myself in the foot!!
@Poisy (Comment 115) : Nice one
@Saffex (Comment 117) : they album says they from iceland just had to look for it bought it awhile ago
@Saffex (Comment 82) : Love Culture! Saw them at the Dome when they opened for Burning Spear. Was Irie mon! 😎
@Saffex (Comment 119) : thanx 🙂
Can’t believe nobody commented on Alt-j. If you don’t have, get it. Name of the album is Awesome Wave.
@robdylan (Comment 93) : Geez Rob I’m speechless………… that song is really deep. Nice really well done.
@rhineshark (Comment 121) : Man oh man……Burning Spear, supported by Culture…….that tops my UB40 supported by The Wailers
@Poisy (Comment 120) : I was close!!
@rhineshark (Comment 123) : Yeah, they are different, come from the same music college in Leeds that my son is at now.
@Saffex (Comment 125) : That is also pretty special, mate! My favourite live concert ever was UB40 in Gaborone in 1989.
@JD (Comment 124) : thanks man 🙂
@Saffex (Comment 127) : They’re a bit unique. Hope they stay that way.